如此熟悉但又如此陌生

getting more n more disappointed with myself le.. duno wat i haf been doing all tis while.. onli cause others to worry abt u.. i dunno wat is going on.. as the date is getting nearer n nearer, i cant take control of my own emotions.. it is controlling mi.. i noe i cant let it take over mi.. there are questions going thru' my mind.. questions n questions.. tonnes n tonnes of questions.. wat do i realli wan.. i noe i cant slack thru' i noe i need to wake up.. others haf sae mi.. others haf scolded mi.. but y cant i just wake up.. how long more i wanna make myself suffer n make those who care abt mi worry n disappoint them.. there are voices of friends in my mind.. asking mi i have to move on le.. watever u guys haf sae to mi is always in my mind.. i noe.. wake up.. move on.. studies n results are wat matter the most.. no motivation.. but i must work hard i noe.. sorry to make u guys wry... sometime i just hope i'll slp n slp n dun wake up.. every morning open my eyes, the question come to my mind.. wat m i working forward to.. wat do i wan from myself n frm my life..

我知道我不应该糟蹋我自己，不应该浪费我的时间，我的生命。我知道所有的不应该，可是为什么明明知道，却还是做了所有的不应该。我也不应该对不起家人，朋友。最不应该对不起信任我的人，真怕你们会信错了我。我那感觉该如何说好？该跟谁说好？ 好像又有了不该有的感觉…… 这是不应该的，要让它走开，不能拥有它，把它收起来。


还有 2 天。它曾是如此熟悉的日子，但它现已变得如此可怕如此陌生。