lost the key to open up

guess i start to love the feeling of being alone ba.. being antisocial and not socialise.. i guess i start to like the feeling of being alone.. i'm afraid of being alone but now.. i'm getting use to it..

i'm afraid of the feeling of being abandon.. i dun wanna go thru the feeling of feeling lost and being forsake.. so i choose to be alone n in my world.. is not good i know.. is not the right attitude i noe.. u wanna scold mi or sae mi i also noe.. but i'm feeling uneasy with socialising now.. i feel better n more comfortable being alone.. introvert.. u wanna sae mi ba.. but u noe i'm not like tis de.. but sorry.. i just cant be back wat i used to be for the time being.. i making everyone disappointed pissed off angry.. but i cant help it.. coz it will nv feel that easy as i used to feel le.. the feeling of meeting up.. meeting each other during gathering.. it wasnt any more of joy n fun n laughter to mi le.. i dunno when it start.. but i noe wat is the cause.. but things just cant go back to last time le.. things change.. people change.. i change too.. i change to be alone.. i change n choose to be alone.. i guess i need the key to make mi open up ba.. i lost the key now n i'm lock myself in my own world..


afraid to be abandoned and forsaken again..