why is it so difficult for mi to open up. yes. it is realli very difficult. i cant speak out wat i'm thinking, wat is in my mind. why i still feel so tired. even since that i feel life is so tiring. i hanging on for everyone else except myself. living for others. i cant speak up.. i feeling very tired with my life.. i'm living a day as a day but dunno for wat. why till now. it still take such a great impact in mi.. life isnt great and wonderful anymore to mi.. it is never. i need some light and colour in my life. why i still feel so miserable. i'm realli tired. even since that, laughter and joy were taken away.

wat do i want from myself, from my life. u ask mi that before. u gave mi the answer. i haf to follow that. but do u even noe. i need u in my life as much as i wan my studies and i wanna feel happie. but i noe i cant want u in my life coz u cant feel the happiness.

yenwei.. jiayou ar.. no matter how tough how sad, u got to hang on. as u promise others.. ur friends, urself and him.