i guess the problem lies on me.. i can't get anyone to understand me since i can't understand myself too.. Esp. of the situation now in term of work/training scheme, studies and life.. maybe i should really just leave and live in my own world.

i'm under a contract with bond.. it isn't a small amount to handle or is just a short period.. is in term of 2 years of training and 1 to 1.5 years of bond.. is 3.5 years. this is my first "job" too.. it can be a stepping stone or it just be a stone that tripped for in the future.. i am going to study, i need a stable income.. i need a job too..


the feeling just suck when others sarcastically say that you love your job when that wasn't the true reason why i always need to OT or to bring home work.. this is life, working life.. i cant tell my boss i want to go home on time or to not do any work after office hours or during weekends, i can't.. if given a choice, who want to work more than the expected.. we work different industries, bosses are different and stuff and the main thing is i'm tied up with that stupid training/bond contract.. which is lots of money involved.. at this point of time, is i break the contract i need to pay at least $50,000. how do i let other understand sometime i got to do things but not what i want but i cant help but to just do it.