wAt m i LeFt witH.. i onLy wAnNa bE witH u..

now at meijie de hse.. todae take 1/2 day leave.. actually did wanna leave so early de but my colleague ask mi to take leave n go see doctor coz i'm having fever n my face look so pale.. i noe i cannot go home de.. going home = no rest.. went to see doc juz now n he gif mi pills to stop my vomiting n giddiness n the medicine will be able to let mi slp better at nite..

these few days alot of things happen until i already lose my true self.. the yenwei used to be is 'dead'.. the yenwei now is still trying to get her up but feel like giving up.. tis 2 n a half days my life is like hell.. my mind is all empty except that it is full wif everything u do b4 n sae b4.. my heart n dead n numb.. how to let it works again? i realli dunno.. i noe i letting my friends worried abt mi but i reaslli dun mind to.. i realli dunno wat else can i do le.. my heart is realli very pain.. have been crying since 24th march evening.. it seems that my body got alot of water to lost coz i dunno y i can cry n cry.. but crying wun help.. i realli hope i can be like u.. u realli dun wan mi le mahz? y r u so cruel..? y u dun even noe u love mi anot.. last time de AI where is it? is all lost through the tiredness that u haf been through ba.. now u feel like putting mi tis heavy stone down but when will u pick mi up again.. u juz let mi down from ur back coz u feeling tired n there are other things that u wanna concentrate on.. u juz left mi there for mi to move on myself.. y u dun tell mi that u r feeling tired n y u dun let mi lightening ur burden.. m i that heavy until at tis point of time u can juz let go of mi.. u sae u nv gif up on tis relationship n u sae u wun.. but now... y cant we juz work things out together.. I RATHER GIVE IN TO U BY NOT HAVING U PEI-ING MI ALWAYZ RATHER THAN GIVING UP THIS RELATIONSHIP.. Y.. Y U WAN MI TO ACCEPT TIS.. Y U WAN MI TO LET GO OF U.? m i realli a burden to u or a responsibility to u.. y u can juz make up ur mind n y cant u change ur mind.. is the love realli not there anymore..

my life can nv be as happie as before le.. feeling sick now but not the headache that is killing mi but is the heart aching that is killing mi.. why? why? nothing can change ur decision anymore? there is no more love in our relationship anymore? tis responsibility muz be killing u n tiring u n which will coz u to collapse.. y m i still think for u.. y u cannot understand my feeling.. y m i still care for u.. i wanna do silly things also cannot coz thinking that by doing that i making ur life feel miserable.. i feeling very miserable now u noe.. i noe u noe but u still keep to ur decision.. i realli dun mind u put more time on ur studies n bball n i realli will wait n support u coz i noe u wanna improve ur studies n bball.. y u make tis decision urself.. i nv sae u cant gif mi happiness.. i nv sae i feeling not happie wif u.. i noe sometime i realli nv appreciate wat u do for mi but y cant we try all over again.. is it bcoz ni bu ai wo le.. y u juz cant let mi be by ur side n take care of u n support u.. i noe wat u wan noe i wun gif u pressure i will onli wait quietly at ur side.. i can help u massage to let u rest well aft ur training.. i can do all tis.. but y u dun gif mi the chance.. why? i realli feel like going to die but i cant bring myself u see u sad.. i realli cannot.. but y u can see mi sad n miserable.. i reali reali love u u noe.. but u dunno u love mi anot.. 11 months plus of relationship n end up mi forcing u to make tis decision.. n end up u dunno who u feel toward mi anymore... is it realli that impossible for us to be together.. is it that difficult.. i guess so ba.. i making u sad n feel un-appreciate n feelso pressurize.. wat a girlfriend m i.. but wat to do.. i juz LOVE you.. haiz...