emotion...

didnt go to sch todae =x
i was just too tired..
cant get myself out of the bed..
onli wake up at 5.30pm todae..
haiz.. just feeling tired..
emotional..
whenever the day for special occasion is reaching..
my mood will be totally affected..
cant realli slp yesterday night..
my mind just keep thinking..
i even haf dreams of you..
haiz..
i know i got to win my emotion..
cant let it get control of mi..
i'm alright..
i'm realli fine..
tis is realli words from my heart..
but my heart will just feel the ache..
ur birthday is reaching...
soon..
and one more month from that..
is almost a year..
almost a year le..
why it still hurts..
it still hurts..
guess it is life ba..
even though i can say..
i'm moving forward..
i'm moving on..
i think i'm alright le..
but when come to actual thing..
i failed.. again..
i thought i already make it..
i thought i have already let it go..
i thought i have already walk away from it..
but why is it that i failed.. again n again..
but.. i know i get stronger..
i wun cry about that anymore..
i wun cry anymore..
i can speak of it with a smile..
i'm still blessing you to be blessed..
and of course..
hoping that i'm blessed too..
still got months to be here before i can go back SG for Chinese new year..
i miss my friends..
i miss netball..
i miss everything in SG..
impressively..
i didnt miss you that much =)
i'm glad i didnt..
and i know you will be glad too..

placing myself in a no where position just make myself lost.
i feel the care from 'you'
but i know nothing will come out from 'us'.
i always ask myself..
do i realli like 'you'
or are 'you' that replacement of him..
is unfair for 'you' and for mi..
coz i know i'm not for 'you'
and i know 'you' are not for mi..
my feeling for him is much much more than that for 'you'
just like that 'you' have for mi..
maybe is just a need..
that keep us there..
need for someone to talk to..
need for someone to listen to..
but..
'we' are just not the one that 'we' are looking for..
'we' know it..