Happy 21st Birthday to you..

Happy 21st Birthday..!!

this will be the last time ba..
from today..
09 September 2008
on your 21st Birthday..
on that 11th months..
i'm making this decision..
no more of you..
no more of Low Yong Zhen in my life..
no more of Low Yong Zhen in my mind..
no more of Low Yong Zhen in my heart..
i'll keep whatever feeling i have for you in me..
no matter is love, like, hate or no more feeling..
that will be kept in me
not to be said anymore..
i guess is realli the time to keep that le..
is useless..
not useful at all..
the feeling make mi weak and strong at the same time..
weak when the thought of you aren't there just for me anymore..
strong when the thought of proving to you i can do it..
stay strong just for you or maybe just for me..
is contradicting..
yes.. it always is..
but from this point
from this date (090908),
and from this time onward (2.00AM)
i'll never mention those feeling anymore..
no matter is care
is concern
or is love..
when people ask me about you..
i'll just smile and say nothing much..
say that we are friends..
nothing more and nothing less..
is just friends..
it will be nothing more..

a friend that will read my blog often..
a friend that give me encouragement and support
when he knows that i'm giving up and falling..
a friend that will scold me when he feels that i'm not doing right..
a friend that care for me just as a friend..
and that my friend, Low Yong Zhen..

although is a regret that we onli talk through blogs..
through tags..
but i'm thankful to you..
thanks for always there when i'm talking 'here'
and you are reading 'there'..
thanks for letting me feel that i'm not alone
even though i always feel i'm standing alone
when i'm feeling down..
thanks for whatever you have done..
the good ones..
the bad ones..
all those..
make me grow up..
make mi see the world..
make mi understand how naive i was..
make mi understand i got to be mature..
and not being stubborn..

silly and stubborn..
those are my characters..
the characters that make people hate me..
make mi angry with me..
make people disappointed..
make mi understand me..
make people know what i want for myself..
is good and is bad too..
should i change..?
some will say Yes and some will say No.
Yes, if you feel is better for you.
No, you are who you are, if you change that isn't you anymore.
Yes, you change for the sake of yourself.
Yes, you change to make yourself a better person.
No, never change for someone else. Only change for yourself..
all these..
sound so familiar..
it used to be an argument..
but the answers are always different..

but first of all..
"ask yourself, what do you want for yourself"
"why are you in Australia?"
"what do you want to do in your life?"
"what is important to you?"

"Love can't get you anywhere.."
"Love can't give you money to eat.."
"Love ....."
I should ask " what is LOVE ? "
"what is true love"
remember there were a debate among my friends in australia..
"true love doesn't exist"
that make mi wonder..
make mi confused..
make me think..
"what is Love?"
some say is just companionship.
some say is just liking..
sone say ... it doesn't exist..
i say.. "it does exist, but i lost that. and i will never find that"
didn't grab that when it was in front of me.
so now..
" what is LOVE ? " to you...?
what is that..? to my friendss..?



i miss you gers..
i miss those poly life..
i miss those catching up time..
i miss those gossiping time..
i miss those silly and funny shots we took..
i just miss those times..
talking on phones that day with you gers..
glad to hear your voices..
glad to know that you gers are doing fine..
meet up when i'm back..
i'm still in a contradicting mood..
.... .....