moment of thoughts...

in sch now..
is 2.32 am in Brisbane..
but i'm not at home..
i'm not sleeping..

haiz..
due to me not being discipline n determined enough..
i didn't went to school on Friday..
so I got to make up the time n lab work that i missed out..
due to my LOVE for sleeping..
i onli get into the campus at 7+ pm..

so i trying to work throughout the night..
is dangerous to go home now too..
although i feel like going home to sleep =x
but then my friend just told me the incident in Sydney..
with an ang mo guy taking knife into an apartment..
and rape the gers and force 1 of the guy to rape the gers too..

haiz..
now make mi wanna go home also cannot..
although i always go home late at night..
alone =x

i'm so hungry..
i need food..
but i got no car..
i cant go anywhere..
i'm tired..
but i told myself that tonite i got to finish up my experiment..
haiz..
how..
no motivation again..
no discipline again..
haiz..


i wanna learn diving..
but..
i got to learn to TREND water for 10 MINUTES..
and SWIM 200 Metre..
haiz..
how..?
is so tiring to trend water..
is so tiring to swim for 200m..
haiz..
but i wanna learn diving..!!



sometime i do wonder..
who will be reading this..?
sometime i do wonder..
did i miss him..?
did i let him walk pass my life without realising..?
sometime i do wonder..
who's the right one..?
but sometime i just wonder..
maybe all the problems lie on me..
I just don't suit for that..
sometime i just hope to get a hug..
sometime i just hope for that pat on my head..
sometime i just hope i was hugged tight to feel that i'm not lonely..
sometime i just unconsciously called out ur name..
sometime i just hope..
nothing happened to me..
and sometime i just hope..
life will be better..
sometime..
i just hope for a shoulder for me to lean on when i'm tired..
but most of the time..
i found myself waking up alone..
in disappointment..

i guess i'm a perfectionist..
i do hope to get things done perfectly..
i do set high expectation of myself and of others..
although i always seem to be slacking..

haiz..
maybe is late in the night..
starting to get emotional..
somehow..
i start to miss the one that i shouldn't miss..
looking at my phone..
wondering will anyone call..?
or will anyone SMS me..?
but somehow..
it always appeared that the one i'm hoping for..
will never call or SMS..
the one that i hope will never call or SMS..
will just show their name on my phone..

what am i waiting for..?
what am i looking forward to..?
what am i hoping for..?
i did wonder..
are you the one..?
i do know the answer..
i did tell myself numerous times..
actually..
you don't seem to suit me..
or maybe should say..
i don't suit you..
i'm not your cup of tea..