Stop being held back by the past. Learn to move on for a better future. Holding on doesn't bring you anywhere better esp. in a 1-way road. Maybe is a gain in some other ways...

i know i'm not in a position to be ask anything more than what a friend can ask. i also not in the position to even comment on anything. but somehow, i can feel that there is another gal in your life that is adding colour to your life already. maybe is just a colleague, is just a friend, a more 談得來 friend, but somehow, you 2 seem to be sharing stories, secret nicknames and codes..

well, i guess it is super crystal clear that yup, you are treating me as just a normal friend with only neutral feeling and not extra.. i wish you all the best in your future relationship. she seems like quite a nice gal and i believe with your character, things should be able to work out well in the future.

i stopped contacting you totally. i guess is a better way off. i'm not contacting any of our common friends already. maybe it is better way off too. our live don't meet anymore.. the paths cross and it went opposite or parallel that it wont cross in the future anymore. i know i lost most of my friends in my life, but i guess this is a price to pay. even they are here, it doesn't feel that real anymore.

things change, people change, life change.. i guess i have to adapt to all changes. there doesn't seem to be any more reason for me to hold on. you seems happy, you are happier. you enjoy your life. you are heading your life toward your goals. everything seems prefect for you now. somehow, it makes me think that without me by your side, your life are much much better. more order, more achievement, everything just seems to be in the good side. don't need to be afraid to hurt me ba. i guess i know it well that we 2 won't get together anymore. i don't know what is happening in your life, i don't know how are you coping with work and life. i don't know about your worries, problems or any troubles that you are facing.. i can't be there to just go through all these with you, i cant share your happiness, sadness, worries, frustration, agony and every other things.

you seem so far away from my life already. i don't seem to be in your life anymore already, other person and things have filled in the vacancy. i could only wish you all the best. little do we know, is almost 6 months already. it isn't a short time but it isn't that long too. but seem that you moved on and not more holding back anymore, it won't do you any good to even think of returning..

what have my life been.. haha.. work and study.. and no gathering or outing with any common friends. because everyone know if we are to meet, they will feel the awkwardness too.. i guess i choose to give them up upon the thought that they will be there for you.. is ridiculous maybe, but i felt it that way.. my life now is only left with work, colleagues, studies and that's all.. i try not to think abt this that i lost you, i lost most of our friends. don't tell me it isn't true but the fact and truth are just out and obvious.. even a comment i try to post on any of our common friend FB status and stuff, the kind of response that i get was...... they are like an acquaintance to me already. i tried by doing the first step of probably reconnect using FB, but it doesn't seem to work out.. i guess i shoudln't be trying so hard to knock my head against the wall ba. to be exact, they are more of your friends than mine already. relationship is no longer than last time anymore.

SP homecoming.. lol.. i thought of going but i don't know who will be going.. if in the past, i will be asked if i want to go.. but now, it isn't the case.. now, everything and everyone seems like stranger to me.. i'm just an acquaintance to everyone already. everything is taken away from me.. what i have left with is just myself and my workload.. you were something i work for and work toward. without you, my life is in a mess and i m feeling so lost.. i can only survive through every day by waking up and go work and do work and study.. something is missing in my life.. unfortunately, i have yet to find something to replace the space that was taken up by you. i tried already but i guess no matter how i try, the feeling can no longer be rekindle already. try out with that gal ba.. anyone is also a much better choice than me already. nothing will be able to rekindle our r/s and feelings already. you didn't want to tell me the harsh and hurtful truth, but i know it very well.. you are just being nice of not wanting to be harsh to such an extend. our road will not cross anymore and needless to say, how can feelings and relationship develop from there..

tell me you like that gal ba, or tell me you do have feeling for that gal ba.. 讓我死心好了.. don't torture me with that special communications that you have with her.. tell me the truth ba.. although it will be hurtful but i rather know the truth and really die once and for all.. i was also wondering if you did block me from msn.

sigh.. i have countless of suffering and toughs days and nights.. how can i always contain all these emotions well.. i really feel like..... which i know it is the wrong and worse way ever.. but, it is getting over my limits and i cant seem to be able to solve it even though i have been thinking and wanting to solve it.. who can save me from all these before i start to go out of control and do silly things.. collapsing soon..