Haiz

i'm realli realli very sad
feel like crying but i noe i cannot cry
holding back all my tears
i guess i alwayz did the wrong things
always say the wrong words

haiz

total disappointment in myself
cant bring myself to laugh or smile
it dun come from the bottom of my heart
it is juz a mask to wear so people will not be affected by me

haiz

how long more can i tahan
i realli dunno
since i'm in wrong i should go thru' this
is i wrong nobody else at fault
keeping things inside realli can make ones sick
i dunno how true it is
let see how long can i go

depression is common in australia but why
life is so relaxing here
salary is high
lifestyle and working style is relax
why depression
m i going to get tis soon
maybe maybe not
life isn't as good as others thought
problems n problems

i'm tired le
how more longer can i hang on to all this things which i feel so important to me
i realli dunno
the strength pushing me suddenly disappear
where has it gone
i dunno
haiz
where has you gone
i dunno
how you feeling now
i dunno
are you angry in me
i guess so
are u disappointed in me
i guess definitely u r
but wat can i do for you
Nothing
haiz...

...moody...

moody + depressed...
keep everything inside me..

depression

disappear... ....

disappear....
...... ....... ...... ....... .......

tonnes & tonnes of works..! haiz..

finally manage to finish up my CHEM 3007 de report todae coz is due todae for submission.. so now still got alot of stuff to do.. yesterdae onli slpt for 3 hr ++ nia.. but luckily todae not tired nv slp in class.. haiz.. realli having serious problems coping CHEM 2041 lehz.. dun understand wat the lecturer is teaching then ask him then ask mi go read text book.. then sae text book will explain everything if realli so do i still need u.. dotz lorz.. haiz.. realli muz jiayou for that module le.. trying to take notes but then sometime the lecturer will sae some words which i nv heard b4 then stunt lorz.. haiz.. how ar.. now waiting for my textbook to come then i can start to "yan jiu" that stupid module which is more or mechanism synthesis all tis.. so organice synthesis lorz.. die la... haiz.. must faster go chiong my CHEM 3009 de result sheet le.. tml need to submit..

Things to complete :

1. CHEM 3009 expt 4 result sheet - due 29th august
2. CHEM 3009 instrument tour essay - due 31th august
3. CHEM 2056 expt 5 result sheet - due 3rd september
4. CHEM 3007 expt 1 report - due 11th september
5. CHEM 2041 1st write-up/report - due 14th september
6. CHEM 2041 Safety assignment - due 21st september
7. CHEM 2041 2nd write-up/report - due 5th october
8. CHEM 2041 3rd & 4th write-up/report - due 26th october
   
9. CHEM 3009 presentation(How much Oil is actually LEFT?) - due 23rd october
10. CHEM 3009 Essay(Can NUCLEAR POWER be GREEN?) - due 29th october

so ppl.. if free please HELP ME.. HELP ME BY HELPING mi find INFORMATION on my presentation n essay topic.. HOW MUCH OIL IS ACTUALLY LEFT? and CAN NUCLEAR POWER BE GREEN? please help mi k.. HELP HELP HELP mi.. getting alot of work load manx..so ppl ur HELP is realli realli APPRECIATED..!!!

dear i'm sorry.. i know there are alot of things for u to do but end up still need u get my stuff.. thanks alot.. i guess recently alot of things happened but hope u are going strong n able to look at the bright side k.. nothing is impossible.. maybe there will be miracle.. you must jiayou k.. recently haf quite a no. of unhappy stuff.. sorry that i cant help u 'fen dan'.. i trying to upgrade myself to be a better person.. sorry to make u angry n disappointed.. i noe watever i sae now oso cant help much but realli hope u are doing fine n feeling better le.. take care my dear.. wo zai zhe li zhi chi ni.. take care k.. cheer up my dear..

USELESS USELESS USELESS ! ! ! ! !

useless useless n useless.. i cant think of anything to describe myself.. yenwei u are so damn useless... everytime ppl find u is wan u to listen to them n consol them but y end up is alwayz ppl consolling u.. useless n useless... now i understand y ppl sae cant depend on u.. y ppl sae u "kao bu zhu" now i fully understand.. useless n useless.. better do some self-reflection.. haiz.. useless n useless.. yenwei u better learn to be stronger n dun get emotional so easily so ppl will feel that they can sae their problems to you n end up not u saying wat u gone thru' n it turns ard n ppl consol u when ppl already feel so sad.. haiz.. guess you are too lousy le ba..

Things to do for Lee Yen Wei :

• Trust him FULLY & don't DOUBT him
  
• Learn to be STRONG & INDEPENDENT
• Stop getting EMOTIONAL so EASILY
  
• Take good care of yourself
• STUDY HARD
• STOP eating RUBBISH/SNACKS = DON'T GAIN weight
  
• Start exercising = LOSE WEIGHT
  

that are all the targets to meet.. tis is not onli for him but oso for urself.. JIAYOU..

JIAYOU...!

it has been long ever since i last see u n it has been extremely long ever since we have a long long chat.. suddenly i have the feeling i dunno wat have happen around u.. u sound so near but u seem so far.. wat happen to u yenwei.. wake up.. stop thinking stupid things.. concentrate on ur studies.. i noe is tough but i believe u will be able to overcome it.. JIAYOU.. trust is very important.. trust trust trust.. trust urself n trust him.. u 2 can do it de.. gambate ! ! !




i love you
you love me
we are happy family
with a great big hug and
a kiss from me to you
WILL YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TOO ??
(song of dinosaur & dragon)

mOoD sWiNg..? nO gOoD.. mUz cHaNgE..!

yesterdae suppose to go to Toowong de coles to buy groceries together with xiaoying n bernard de but then realli haf menstruation cramp n serious back ache headache n feel giddy n wanna vomit so i didn't even eat the wanton noodle that i order(which cost $6.50) i already went to take cab home.. cab is so diff to flag for 1.. i realli feel like dying i even squat down on the pathway n is raining.. i guess i realli freak bernard out coz he sae my face look damn pale.. but finally i got into 1 n went straight home.. it cost mi $8.90 even though is so near.. the taxi fare rate here is damn crazy.. when i get home i realli feel like dying le.. i faster change to dry clothes n eat panadol pills n faster get into slp.. when i wake up still can feel the pain but is not as painful as before.. haiz.. guess i'm too weak le ba.. muz realli learn to take care of myself le ba..

juz came back from a movie at South Bank de cineplex.. went with xiaoying n shijia.. shijia is our SP senior get to noe her here.. we went to watch Die Hard 4.. the show is quite nice.. 1st time watch movie in Australia.. Australia is a funni place.. weekend movie ticket is cheaper.. haha.. even transport fee n stuff on weekend is cheaper.. total diff from singapore lorz.. but here is quite lagging la.. the movie show here is much slower than wat was shown in singapore... hmm.. before we went for the movie we went to city to find car rental place but in the end i still cant find that stupid Abel car rental place which it state in the website that it is at roma street but i went there but cant find it... next week then go n find ba.. after that we faster rush to Subway to buy some sandwich n rush to take CityCat to south bank for the movie.. ya.. the movie here is FREE SEATING.. that mean u come late then u die lorz.. haha..

dear.. ni hai hao ma.. xi wang ni hen hao.. sorry..

think i'm getting my mood swing problem le.. haha.. suddenly got no mood le.. dunno la.. bye.. need to go do my report le..



i wait n wait.. i dunno when i can see you.. maybe is a good thing.. absence makes
the heart fonder.. getting emotional.. think better end here if not later......... ....... .........

FiNaLLy mY iNtErNet is uP aFtEr 2 wK deLay..!

finally i'm able to go online at home le.. aft all the troubles n the problems that Optus gives us.. after 2 wk plus i finally got internet at home le.. life isn't that bored now le =) can u imagine life without internet n wat u got to do everyday is stay at home n rot.. omg.. is so so boring.. somemore the sky over here turn dark at 5+6pm.. so the night is so so long.. but now with internet.. life seems to be brighten up.. haha.. got motivation.. got internet to access to internet resource instead of always staying in sch n go to sch on sat n sun juz to use the internet.. wat more.. aft a certain quota u haf to pay to use extra.. then per month onli got 150MB to use.. omg.. life here suck.. =x haha.. but no choice le so juz live with it.. now muz faster go do my datasheet n stuff for my prac.. kind of tired so got so mani datasheet n report to do.. then got essay to write n stuff.. haiz..

by the way.. whoever is helpful enough please help mi find information abt : CAN NUCLEAR POWER BE GREEN? this essay thingy is realli killing mi.. cant find much thing abt that.. this is my exam essay.. so ppl plz plz help mi k..! ur help is greatly APPRECIATED... =) thanks..

dear dear realli looking forward to see u in sept.. haha.. i'm realli realli very happie that u actually make the effort to travel over to australia to visit mi.. realli very gan dong.. realli thank you.. dunno on the day i pick u up at airport wat will the feeling be.. by then is nv see u face to face for 2 months liao.. realli looking forward to that.. although when u leave that time cfm will be very sad de but i noe in another 2 months time i will be back in sg.. haha.. but realli wanna see u.. haha.. muackx.. realli miss u lotx..

hApPiE 20tH biRtHdAy!! to mE

is my birthday today but then it juz feel like an original day.. got lectures todae until just now.. no more classes for todae le.. now waiting for dear dear to online so that i can chat with him.. but then kind of tired now.. feel like going home to slp but then later got dinner at Hawken Drive to eat Fish n Chips.. michelle n xiaoying sae very nice so going tonite to try.. quite looking forward for the dinner coz long time nv eat fish n calamari ring le coz seafood is expensive here..

think i'm getting fatter n fatter each day.. tummy is getting bigger =( haha.. then think gt gain 2-3kg... haha.. how ar... haha... die la.. eating n eating.. eating haf become my leisure liao =x haha.. nothing to do here.. so boring..

09/08/07

hApPie NaTioNaL dAy..!! no hoLidAy hErE.. sAd + bOriNg.. prac started.. haf to start doing report le.. haiz.. everything oso do myself.. SP is still the best manx.. haiz.. sat n sun will be coming to sch to use internet to do report n datasheet le.. haiz.. still no internet at home.. sucky service.. dunno still need to drag for how long.. Australia service SUCK..! Lifestyle oso SUCK..! suck suck suck !!! ok.. got to go home to makan dinner le.. no program.. no NDP.. haiz.. but got xiaoying.. haha.. coz michelle went to QUT to watch NDP..