eVeRywHeRe iS yOu.. i rEaLLi m|ss yOu..

just get home.. went to bedok market 85 with kiap laopa just now.. todae went tanning cum swimming with shuting at my hse here.. i more of tanning ba.. aft that went to city hall to meet CLS de ppl coz today got gathering.. quite alot of us today.. is quite a big group i can sae.. but too big grp oso not good.. nv realli interact much.. went to Suntec City 1st coz tat siong sae they need to go collect their standard chartered de bag.. on the way to Suntec from City hall.. all the memories come.. too mani le.. i walk everywhere i oso see memories of u n us.. everywhere.. i walk silently.. i try to endure on the way thru City Link.. then reach Suntec.. i walk i keep trying to see.. hope i can see u.. but i oso hope i wun see u coz i scare to see u with her.. i duno how.. i keep having the feeling i will see u.. throughout the whole journey.. i keep tryin to endure all the pain n memories that come back.. i realli wanna cry le.. when we reach marina square.. shuting show mi that u call her sae u see her n jasmine at Suntec.. she tell mi to prepare coz u r ard.. the next moment i cant endure anymore.. i rush to the toilet.. i cried.. i realli missed u.. i noe i do.. but i noe nothing will happen de.. i sit down somewhere before going back to meet the rest at Cavana.. but when i reach Cavana.. i cant endure anymore.. i bend down my head.. i cried again.. tis is the most i cried since i come back.. although i cried every night to slp.. but today i dunno y i cant control my emotions.. i sit down at Cavana n tears just roll down.. alot alot.. i nv cry out loud but i realli very xin ku.. u noe how xin ku m i anot.. u nv noe tis coz u already dun love mi le.. beside u there is a "her" so u wun feel wat i feel.. i duno y i love u so deep so deep so much so much.. i realli miss u.. i keep telling shuting wo hen xiang jian ni.. but i noe i cannot jian ni de.. but i realli miss u.. wo hao xiang zai bao zhe ni.. wo zhen de hen xiang ni.. every night i can onli cry n cry to make myself tired so i will slp.. but when i wake up.. i realli hope the reality will change.. i realli hope we r together.. i realli hope we are holding hand n shopping at Suntec.. trying clothes that u sae will look nice on mi.. i realli miss u.. u noe mahz.. u nv feel anything.. nth at all.. i haf to endure all tis all over again.. i realli hope i can give up again.. u noe how painful is it mahz..why do i love u so much.. why cant i just let go off tis relationship.. i keep endure endure keeping things in mi.. i going to collapse.. i hope i can just collapse 1 day.. i hope 1 day when i feel headache n giddy n wanna vomit that time.. i just faint aft the image become black.. n dun wake up again.. i realli very painful..

even i'm at bedok market 85.. i oso think of u.. u r everywhere.. everywhere.. wo zhen de hen xiang ni.. wei shen me ni bu yao wo..