Edwin & Christina Wedding

went to Orchid Country Club to attend Edwin & Christina wedding..
is held at the Grand Ballroom and I think the wedding is quite different from those that i have attended..

more details to post as is already 12am now.. i'm going to sleep.. working tml..

the problem lies with me..

angry..? nope.. definitely not angry or piss off.. is more of sad and disappointed.. yes.. i like to grumble n complain and nag.. other than complains, i cant do anythings else.. or mayb i should just shut up.. i feel so yuan wang.. it was just a normal conversation when i complain things that i cant do.. end up.. making ppl lost their temper on me.. guess is my fault ba.. for complaining things again and again and again.. always on similar issue over n over again.. take it as my fault ok.. i wun wanna go KL or Genting with u.. what for i spent my money on places that i go before le.. and i doubt i go there i will feel like a holiday.. just dun go for any holiday ba.. and i got the super strong feeling if we 2 go for a short holiday. we confirm will quarrel de.. so might as well dun go ba.. i prefer to save that money for some diving trip or places that i feel more worth it ba.. whether or not u learnt diving, i wun pressure u anymore.. u dun learn then i just go dive with others.. u learn we can dive together.. so it doesnt matter to me..

as for the issue of always repeating the same issues to complain on.. sometime it does mean it really affect me.. as for this road trip or holiday.. i can only complain.. other than that i cant do anything and u know it best that i'm just complaining n i definitely wun stop u for going.. but dunno what is the reason, or maybe u tahan for too long liao. this time u just lost ur cool and mayb i stress u too much.. or mayb i didnt realise i'm stressing you.. so now i can let u know.. i dun wan/wish to go KL or Genting with u when u are back coz i will be going there in 1 week plus time.. u can say i just stubborn or what.. is my fault.. mayb i expected too much.. u say wanna go holiday with me i just look for different locations to go.. but i guess in the end, i will give it a miss.. i nv say is ur fault to go to NZ without me and u know very well that at that point of time, my passport dun allow me to go to NZ frm australia as i can only go back SG with that soon to expired passport. so u carry on with ur plan of NZ so i can plan my own activities. to be frank, at that point of time of ur NZ trip, i wasnt into ur life/mind. sometime i feel that u are selfish too.. come to think of that time, u didnt wanna commit but u still wanna give me hope and ask me dun give up on u.. but when am i important in ur life..? or when it starting..? or did it start..?

yes.. i always complain about the ways u treat ur friends and me.. maybe is coincidence.. it just happened to be u going out more with them than me.. so now come back to the issue of repeating.. which girlfriend can be so understand to the extend that her boyfriend seldom has time for her.. i know study is ur main focus and i wun complain on that coz i know that is the main purpose of our life at that point of time.. what about ask yourselves.. "How often or how much time you spend with me as a couple in a week or maybe a month?" is bcoz i stay at ur hse and u think that is counted as company.. ok.. that can be company.. but with u studying and i try to get myself busy with facebook and games coz u are studying.. i dun blame that.. but other than that.. what else or where else did we do or go.. i know u are a student so the time u spent on ur studies i cant fight for that.. but when u are free, i must be free.. just like when u wanna commit then i must be there.. sometime i just feel i must suit ur life ur timing.. i dunno.. i just feel very heartache now.. is all started with my sms to u to ask how is ur day/holiday.. now.. i feel so sad.. i nv tell u before.. yes.. is i like u first but u didnt like me at that point of time.. but when i wanna leave and go off.. u come to me n tell me dun give up on u and give u more time.. and i gave u plenty or more than enough time.. i say u are selfish in the sense that u get hold of the person that like u but u dun commit but u dun wanna let go.. then she choose to stay put there to wait for u.. u still need her to push u.. sometime it just makes me wonder, why do u ask me to be ur girlfriend..? is it because of peer pressure or is it because u wan someone to be beside/behind u.. but sometime.. i just dun feel ur initiative and ur commitment to me.. or maybe.. is i expect too much from u.. or maybe.. i just feel neglected coz our r/s have been this way always.. we nv go dating as a normal couple bcoz we passed by that stage during the "ai mei" period.. or mayb.. during that period, we also nv really go out much..

another thing is.. i dun mind waiting.. but can i dun be always the silly one that wait and wait.. how long have i waited.. how much time i have spend waiting.. wait for ur assignments to submit to have more time for me.. wait for u to come home and eat dinner with me.. wait for u to finish study for the night to have few more minutes to talk to me just before u dozed off when chatting.. wait for ur exams to be over to have more time for me.. wait for u to feel to commit.. i dun mind waiting.. but can it at least make me feel the waiting is worth it.. i nv said u dun loved me.. i can feel ur love.. but sometime.. that feeling is more of occasionally.. i know u wish to have more time for me.. but sometime.. i just feel ur words dun go with ur actions.. or maybe.. is back to me.. i expect too much.. or maybe.. is me who dunno how to handle relationship.. is me. who dunno how to express my thinking and feeling.. is me who cant communicate well.. is me.. who dunno how to be a understanding gentle and accommodating girlfriend.. is me.. who just want so much things that make the other person stress and pressure.. is me.. i know.. the problem lies with me..

so just take a break.. u enjoy ur holiday and me.. just work hard for my cash.. take care and good night..

IDIOTIC HDB PARKING..!! just like the government.

damn pissed off.. went to my friend's hse yesterday to play poker at night. i even put $2 parking coupon as it is the sum for night parking. then i still kena summoned.. is $50.. argghhh.. the multi-storey carpark is not for public parking at night anymore.. there is a red board that hide below the lighted board to indicate "reserved for season parking from 10.30p to 7am" idiot.. so what, i cant park at car there at night anymore.. i cant visit my friends/relatives overnight..? why is the government so idiot n stupid.. and best thing is, the board is not eye-catching at all.. *argghhh.. so there goes $50 for parking there.. i guess i wun wanna go to HDB anymore.. where got so idiot or stupid le.. u cant visit people overnight n best, maybe u shouldn't even drive... *argghhh*..

a special day..?

today is a weird day.. or maybe shouldn't use the word weird.. is more of just kind of different feeling.. today i woke up for work.. just grad my shoes (in a plastic bag) and put in my bag and just went for work.. only when i alight at the station to change my shoes, then i realise i took the wrong pair/plastic bag.. i wanted to wear flats today but instead i bought my high heels out.. i got no choice but to wear that high heels for work today.. suppose to meet shuting, junxiang and yiwei for lunch but last min shuting's boss came down for her meeting so she cant leave early.. so end up only me, jx and yw went for lunch.. and today weather was super annoying.. before i left the office for lunch i look outside i saw that thick layer of black/grey clouds but the next moment i took the lift down to the lobby, it was raining super heavily so i got to go upstair to take my colleague umbrella to use. then when i got the umbrella, the rain ceased.. *arghh.. nvm.. then while waiting for jx and yw for awhile, the rain stopped.. *arghhhh..* this is irritating lor.. waste my time only to take the umbrella n walk ard with it..

then today after work after to go home straight.. only on the train then i remember tonight got no dinner.. ya.. my family went out for movie (Michael Jackson's movie) but i didnt join them la.. coz i think i will feel weird plus i'm not s fan of Michael Jackson.. hmm.. no dinner means got to da bao home.. so today i alight at Tampines instead of Pasir Ris(coz i got more bus to take).. so i decide to go Tampines Mall to da bao Tori-Q.. then after da bao walk to bus interchange.. then see got those store/carts that sell accessories, clothes and handphones accessories n stuff.. then i stop at this store coz i saw 'sock' for my ipod nano.. although i wanna customise a case for my ipod so i just buy a cheap sock for the time being so that i can bring my ipod nano out instead of the heavy/bulky creative Zen vision W that i have.. then i was looking at those colourful socks then got this guy or maybe i should say boy who are helpers/sale assistant for the store who greet me and ask me "xiao jie, ni yao shen me" (Miss, what are you looking for), then i was like i'm just looking ard.. to my surprise/shock, i look up, this guy looks kind of familiar but i also not sure i know him anot.. but i'm just a person who dun like to stare/keep looking at guy.. so i nv take another look.. then the boss came over n serve me.. this guy was serving another customer.. then suddenly this guy/boy look at me again and say "yenwei jie jie, ni hen jiu mei you lai zhao wo le" i was kind of stunned/shocked, this time i took another look at this guy which i definitely know he is a sec sch kid. then i realise, he was boon jie (yong jie who i know him as). he is yongzhen's brother. i was stunned.. he grew stronger and lost some weight.. i didnt recognise him at the start until he called me.. actually it just feel kind of weird still.. talking to ur ex-boyfriend's brother.. but ok la.. he is a nice guy.. then he ask me why i come back nv go find him.. then i was like "eh.." then i wanted to go off liao then he tell me this saturday his birthday, of course i rmb coz is 7-11 (birthday date). then he ask me go his house.. which i was like "eh..." then i ask him "you having party?" luckily he said "no" if not, i also dunno how to reject him.. but anyway, this weekend i also not ard i will be in Malaysia.. hmm.. maybe i should pay his mum a visit coz he threatened to tell his mother. ok la.. i do respect his mother.. just a different mother feeling.. anyway.. i share discuss this with darling first coz it dun sound good to go ur ex-bf hse..

ok.. after that i went to take bus 29. while queue for the bus.. i saw some secondary school mates.. i dun really remember his/their names just like they dun remember mine.. but if not wrong i think one of them is called Chee Yong, or maybe i rmb wrongly =x haha.. anyway.. alighting at tampines is just a different feeling, will have familiar faces and people ard u.. is good n bad though coz i wanted to stay low profile for the time being =x heez..