don't underestimate yourself but don't overestimate yourself too.
i overestimated my tolerance level which i thought i wouldn't breakdown that easily.. but somehow, the limit is near. back to the collapse point, exactly 2 months ago.. i'm trying to live strong to work my life out for others to see, to others' expectation. but by doing this everyday for others, i'm losing myself on the way.. sometime i feel i'm much happier now but sometime i think i'm psycho-ing myself as i couldn't tell what has become better.. am i really happy now but i'm just living a day as a day.. i couldn't find the source of my energy and motivation at all.. not now... i lost a pillar in my life while trying to find my goal in life.. but somehow now, i'm feeling so lost.. i feel like giving up.. on every single thing.. i want to fall somewhere.. but i'm afraid that it will hurt.. but why am i out of my comfort zone since i'm afraid.. this is so contradicting.. where i can fall now.. who can i fall on now.. who to catch me when i fall.. where do i land when i fall.. i want to be independence and i dont like the feeling of relying on others or dependent on anyone, i need to be strong and independence.. someday, i will be fine..

blogging at this hour whereby i am yet to be sleeping =x becoming older and looking much much older soon especially with that little hours of sleep..