this time, i'm getting you out of my life totally. i'm very very sad. but i know is non-comparable to yours, but mine is still as much though....

i guess the almost 5 months of break-up is too long to ask for any intention of trying-out or patching back.

why do i still cry.. i hate crying.. i just hate myself.. every single part about me..

i just hate myself.. i want to remove you from my life.. if not i can't really move on.. i'm just stuck in the 'relationship' of us.. living in the 'relationship' which didnt exist anymore. it hurts and finally i made the decision but it just too late.

you always say i'm selfish, i think so much for myself only and neglect my partner.. but do you think likewise for me.. i tried so hard to please everyone.. i try to be a good girlfriend. i tamed down with less emotions or losing tempers. i care and ask and never raise my voices.. i do all these were because that what a girlfriend should be.. shouldn't be a unreasonable or violent girlfriend, should be a girlfriend that you will be proud of and your friends and family will like.. silly me still thought of maybe 28-Jan-2012 we can get back together and start afresh on that date that means so much to us.. but i drop that thought forever. is my loss to lose a good guy and maybe i just dont have that life for all these. or maybe we are just not meant to be.. still thinking i finally know what i wanted that why i made the decision but it just too late or wrong timing.

just let me be like this now.. i don't know what to do anymore. my heart just felt like it was being crushed real hard and it is so painful till now i dont feel anything anymore..