能不能不愛了 愛情它太痛了 我痛得快死了

today is a black Friday (Friday the 13th).. well, i always like the number 13 since i'm born on the 13th. others feel is an unlucky number but i don't feel so. but just today, 13th January 2012 (Friday) since midnight, it seems like a mixture. is it a lucky day or an unlucky day.. the best way ever to start my day and waking up finding myself lost. i had a nightmare yesterday. i dreamt about myself getting into an accident. this isn't the first time i dreamt abt myself driving and involve in accident. i always dreamt that i'm driving and suddenly my eyes can't see anything in front. everything becomes black.. i can't go anywhere, i'm afraid if i continue to drive, i will knock into some things (cars or person or any infrastructures). i could only just stop, but also thinking that i will be knocked by some other cars..

i don't know will today be the worst day of my life for 2012, but this year, it didn't start off well at all.. after thoughts and discussion, things don't improve, it will be the same things again.. it doesn't feel good today at all. i could only fake my smile to others today as i always tell myself don't show my personal emotions in office.

in office now, just feeling lost. don't feel tired, don't feel hungry.. a good way to lose all those i gain in Dec, esp. from those Christmas and New Year gatherings with good food and buffets.. i have been skipping dinners recently.. probably by the time i want to eat is already past 9pm. i decided to not eat. well, hopefully just hope that i really did slim down rather than eat too much and have gastric from the binge eating and then not eating again.

i have an issue. which is torturing myself when i'm not feeling alright. i don't know this is to make myself feel better or to make myself understand the pain more.. sigh~~


能不能不愛了 因為愛太痛了
我痛得快死了 卻無法把你忘了

能不能不愛了 愛情它太痛了
我不能夠
不能夠 不愛了
吃不能吃 睡不能睡