wHo aRe yOu??

i cried again.. i see the msg that my cousin left for mi in msn n friendster.. "dear, 分手快乐! 祝你快乐! 你可以找到更好的! 有哪一个人恋爱时是不幸福的,有哪一个人分手时是不伤心的, 要知道这世界上不是只有一颗树哦, 我们还有很长的路要走, 一个人在那边要 take care always k...!!! " i'm touched.. but i felt useless too.. y i must let everyone worry for mi.. especially i'm in overseas.. wat so big deal about relationship.. u r already in so far island.. all ur friends n family r worry for u coz they cant see u or feel u.. dun let a relationship pull u down.. u haf to get out of tis soon.. dun let the yenwei in u die.. u haf to be back to normal.. but wat is normal.. wat is the actual yenwei like? i dunno.. i never noe.. actually i realli live for others.. craps n lame around to make people laugh n smile.. smile n laugh around.. but deep inside mi.. wat is the actual mi.. y u always keep things in u.. why u dun show wat r u actually feeling.. u r not strong at all n stop acting strong.. y u cant cry in front of others.. y must be hide in 1 corner n cried.. why.. u r just a weakling.. u r just human.. u r just a ger.. cry out when u wan.. y must u hold back all the tears in u.. y u cant let ppl see the weak side of u.. y must u always stay in ur room n onli cry alone in the room.. why.. wat actually are you, yenwei.. can u tell mi how a person are u.. how long more u wanna hide urself how long more can tis goes on.. ur emotions n moods are so extremely apart.. tis carry on u will go crazy u will realli get depression de.. y u cant let out urself.. why must u keep urself in the dark corner.. y u dun let out.. let out urself to others.. u r not strong.. tell others ur problems.. tell others how u feel.. y keep saying "i'm ok la" but in the actual fact u r not ok.. u nv been ok.. y must u still look so strong in front of others.. is it bcoz u dun wan others to wry.. but how long more can u handle all tis before u collapse before u totally collapse.. u r not fine not ok at all.. u r not.. let it all out to others.. dun keep le.. dun torture urself le.. why.. i'm realli hurt.. i'm realli tired.. my mind is working working forever.. when can it stop thinking.. think about ur future.. u think for so long le.. so wat do u wan in ur life in ur future.. wat do u wanna do when u grad... u think for years but nothing come out.. yenwei.. who r u.. wat are u.. wat is exactly in ur mind.. can u let it out.. i realli need some1.. i guess is realli a doctor le.. i realli need 1.. or some1 who can open mi up.. or should sae someone who can open mi up again.. from the start i'm a "closed" person.. that is wat my primary sch friend told mi in the past.. they ask mi b4.. "yenwei y u like nv share ur problems with us de" i duno how to answer.. m i realli a person who keep things in mi.. i opened up once.. but i closed back again.. i realise actually i dun share with others.. it will be better ba.. i open up le but i realise i cant trust anyone anymore.. there is some much things that a person should share with their family friends or love one.. but i feel that i cant do tt.. i nv share things with my family coz we dun realli communicate.. i used to share with my friends n esp my love one.. but i realise.. i cant le.. is it bcoz i'm just seriously hurt n injured.. y cant u just open up.. wat kind of people are u.. wat kind of person are u yenwei.. who r u..