in sch now.. rotting i guess.. waiting for Jeremy to be here to discuss with me what i'm suppose to do for my Honours as Ian Gentle is still not back from his overseas trip.. haiz.. this week is quite slack but guess next week start got to start working le.. still not sure what i'm doing for my Honours project yet.. sian.. i guess i'm slow now.. need to do research proposal soon but i dun even know what i'm doing yet.. haiz.. dunno la..

still haben upload photo yet coz my laptop is still not alright yet.. is with james asking him to help mi check what is the problem with my laptop and maybe need to reformat.. tis laptop is giving mi quite a problem.. got to get it done before i start bring my laptop to sch to do my honours stuff.. dun feel anything if the convo/graduation.. just feel the same.. aiya.. dunno la..

feeling lost now.. i dunno am i moving forward or i'm pulling myself back.. maybe i should realli try to learn to protect myself more and dun get myself hurt so easily.. but sometimes.. saying is easier than doing. haiz.. dunno la.. guess you all wun understand what i'm saying ba.. i'm just confused.. i just dun understand.. i just dunno what i wan.. haiz.. maybe you should have disappear from my life long long time ago.. and maybe this you shouldn't enter my life now.. coz you dun even know what do you wan.. to be fair to myself and trying to stop hurting myself anymore.. i should have step out of it and never into it again.. tis time..... i realli got to keep to this. coz i know tis is the better way out..


feeling lost..
not seeing myself anywhere..
standing in a no where position..
will you understand this feeling..?
i guess i myself is also confused with this situation...
i choose to step out of it..
and maybe..
i shouldn't return...

i'm finally back to blog.. have been long since i'm last blog ya.. was back from sydney and melbourne.. and i'm here to annouced.. i've graduated =)

I'm now a DEGREE HOLDER =) heeez.. but then still here in australia to take my Honours la.. got to work harder tis year le.. work hard for my First Class Honours although i know my limit.. the most i can get is Second Upper.. but nevermind.. just jiayou =)

graduation photo will be up soon..
sydney and melbourne trip photo will be up soon =)

1st day in Melbourne

finally i'm in melb.. is super cold here.. when we touch down at the airport, the temperature was 8 degree C.. OMG.. is so so cold lorz.. when u tok.. u can see the "smoke".. actually sometime in brisbane we talk we also can see the "smoke" but then is onli at night and occasionally onli.. but in here.. we talk we see that.. haha.. is fun at times.. now staying at nicholas de house. is nice.. nicholas stay with derrick and le tian.. then shuting came over to visit.. then now plus yongsheng, ziyang and mi.. total got 7 of us in the house.. is fun and very nice feeling.. coz we are all from SP CLS club.. knew each other thru' CLS club.. bonding thru all the acivities.. make mi miss poly life.. haiz.. nvm.. is here for holidae.. enjoy =)

tml going to Mount Buller to skii.. going to slp le.. got to wake up at 3am then wake to some place by 4.20 am.. then take the coach which take us 4 hr to get to Mt Buller.. then attend skii lessons.. then can skii ourselves le.. but onli skii for one day.. but is good enough ya.. need to do some shopping. i wanna get the long wallet.. the Prada one still make mi like it alot.. but is still too expensive.. haiz.. i wanna get a branded and good one will do.. aft that wun wanna get anymore coz i believe that wallet can last mi for very long.. hmm.. let see wat other nice wallet i can go for ba.. hmm..

ok.. got to go and sleep le.. if not cant wake up.. nitez..

now at sydney.. using the internet in the hotel or should i sae is more like a backpacker.. todae is the 7th le.. still got 1 more day then going to melb le.. went to the sydney opera house and the harbour bridge.. nv go to bondi coz i cant wake up.. then yesterdae got cramps so went back to rest and nv go to darling harbour and stuff la.. later in the morning at 7.40 am is setting off to Blue Mountain in Sydney which everyone sae that must go for that if is in sydney.. tml is whole day at blue mountain ya.. didnt manage to do alot of shopping.. saw a Prada wallet todae.. but it cost $570.. but then is realli very nice.. i like it.. is the winter series.. haiz.. but then bo bian.. i'm not rich.. but i realli wanna get a good wallet.. those long kind of wallet which every lady should haf.. wouldnt realli take that out everyday but then i feel i should get one of such wallet too.. so jkust let see how things go ya.. bought some nice stuff todae.. not for myself.. but i just like it that much..


just waiting for that message to tell me that you are not coming.
but...
you seems to disappear..
nevermind..
i already have the mind set that you will not appear le.
but i'm just wanting that confirmation ba..
i realli dunno wat have realli get into me..

leaving for sydney in another 6 hours.. not in the mood.. no feeling ar.. haben pack stuff yet.. still packing stuff at my new house.. yes.. i shifted house le.. here is my new address:

8/9 Durham Street
St Lucia
Qld 4067
Australia

anything come and visit mi here k.. still got alot more to do abt that house but is kind of rush coz dun haf enough time since i onli got the keys on the 1st july afternoon then onli do cleaning on the 2nd july night.. then today went to ikea and get plates, cups and stuff.. still got more to go..

wait till i come back then see how ba.. i will be away in sydney till 8th then on 8th morning fly to melbourne.. then in gold coast on the 13th july.. then i will be back.. graduation in on the 16th on july..


got the tickets for you appearance.
i also dunno why i set aside those tickets for you.
is silly i know.
the 2-3 tickets..
will it be of use..?
i dunno..

i wan the black Ralph Lauren Polo Tee..
haiz.. yesterday saw that one that i wanna get on ebay
but i forget to bid then i just went to slp
todae wake up.
is gone..

haiz..
is red horse..
got 3 horses de..
haiz.. i wan that one..

sian sian sian..

http://memyselfmine.blogspot.com/

visit this blog..
she is the girlfriend of the pilot who died in Brunei training.

suddenly her blog make it think of you.
but i'm more fortunate than her.
the person i love is still alive but her's..
is gone..

i read her entries yesterday night..
is very sad.
especially when she said 4 more days to see her boyfriend.
but then next day..
.... ....
the 4 days never come..
he is never back..

her hopeless feeling i understand..
but she felt more than me..
i lost you but she lost him forever..

suddenly.
i feel like hugging you.
i wanna feel the feeling of you hugging mi.
i wanna feel so secure in your arms.
i wanna feel you.

but i admire her strongest.
i know is tough coping with that.
i know the mental break down that she might go through
i know her feeling and need for being strong to others..
but we still feel the pain..

she made mi wanna tears but i know i must hold it back too.
moving on.. is the word that everyone says to us..
but moving on.. ....

i have mixed feeling.
i'm telling myself what i should do and what i shouldn't do
what i should think of and what i should not think of.
but
the heart and the mind never work together..

graduation is in 2 weeks time..
is it a go or is it a miss?
i dunno..
will you appear or will you not appear
should i look forward to see you or should i not
at tis point of time.. i just hope that you are by my side.
but..
you are still someone's.
and i know you will never be mine..



ok.. enough le.. go sleep ba.. shouldnt think anymore..

result is out..

result is out.. ask mi for more details...


promise is still a promise
the target is not met.
is fate.

we are just 2 separate parties.
does it really matter?
i know the truth..
u are still someone's.
so..
what i got to do is..
study and live my days..

graduation...? hmmm...

result out in 10 mins

result will be out in 10 mins time.. is goin to be 12.01am of 2nd july.. i'm so scared.. haiz.. i also dunno how.. anyway.. recently too much things happened le.. got good got bad.. just hope that more good things will happen in the future..

will the promise be officially cancel off..
or will this promise never be mentioned again..
but i know this promise will never come true..