Ai Lan's wedding @ Marina Mandarin Hotel

went to my cousin Ai Lan's wedding.. although i attended the ROM ceremony last year.. they are still so lovely and funny.. the wedding dinner was quite fun esp. the second part walking, the husband (Roy aka Yi Ming) walking in with a lady in red dress and masked.. but one look, can tell isn't my cousin.. the "couple' still dance with the music and those 'hot' dance.. haha.. then walk until the stage then realise my cousin is still outside.. there are 2 video/photo showing.. one of their childhood until now.. then the 2nd part was the wedding at malaysia. then the husband still give her a surprise with a walk-in singing of love song and a bouquet of flower.. can see their love.. feel so happy for them... 心裡有了感觸，也有感動⋯⋯

feel like having a drink and just get drunk..

everytime i see the profile, 心中就會有一種怪怪的感覺，一種我不知道該怎麼形容... i'm telling myself not to go see that profile, is time to really leave it as it is.. life still goes on when friends arent alot left.. busy with work if no activity after work will just go home n watch tv..

9 months, i guess sooner or later i will get use to that that my that group of friends are no longer in contact with each other.. no much friends but i will live with it.. i guess something can no longer b as in the past anymore.. got to move on.. work is busy.. somehow there isnt a day where i can say i finished my work.. it isnt that simple n easy but i got to work for my own future n to earn money to live.. exam results out next week friday. fail this, i will quit school cause i nv like doing things twice esp that i think i put in effort already. something just cnt be force, i understand this point..

these few weeks without school, life seems better n not so stress n tough.. my lymph nodes aren't acting up.. only know during exam that week, more n painful ones appeared, was thinking of seeing doctor after taiwan trip.. maybe the holiday with sufficient sleep, no stress and maybe healthier food (since i'm on plain diet during half of the trip due to diarrhea n slip&fall), when i'm back in sg, lymph nodes are not there.. monitor closely my condition coz i know the seriousness..

recently, i really feel like drinking. feel like have a drink n chill or whatever.. was thinking of giving myself n him a chance.. i decided to not contact you.. coz i know, with you ard, i can nv treat him fairly or nicely.. i will live in the past and be very temperamental to him.. i did think of asking you out for dinner whenever i drop by for my dental appt.. but i did afraid that my stand, mood n emotions might be affected if i see you.. i guess by minimum or no contact with you, i'm being fair to both ba.. i'm trying to live a life w/o you "affecting" me.. i cant expect anymore from you but i guess i am also trying not to expect too much from him.. i expect more from myself.. i also dont know how to take you out from my train of thoughts.. somehow, something will just lead me back to you.. even today a ice-cream dates with weiling and all, my conversation almost wanted to mention you but i paused.. i dont know how to continue.. i dont dare to mention you, i'm afraid of speaking abt you.. coz when i talk abt you, you will 'stay' in my mind for a very long time, which i know isn't that 'healthy' for me.. just like now, i cant get you off my mind.. i got to stop typing if not tmr when i wake up, i will be quite depressed and moody.. new day, new start.. be happy and think of other things =)

好想好好的拍拖⋯⋯ 好好的戀愛⋯⋯ 好想就像別人一樣，享受愛情，戀愛的感覺⋯⋯ 有時，多數時候，覺得我的生命變得好空虛，以往的生活，變得平淡，無趣⋯⋯ 覺得生命，不再那麼快樂。失去的比想像的多了好多好多。多到我無法不承認我已經不再那麼快樂。多到我已經接受事實，今時不同往日。我也不知道要再怎麼的去找回那個我。原來，我的生命是為了愛而活。星座說得好對，我是一個為了愛而活，我的世界一定要有愛。對我而言，愛情非常重要。沒有愛，我就好像沒有活著一樣。

today marked 2 years i'm in the company.. tmr is the start of the bond period.. bond end on 02 nov 2013.. today is an emo day.. i think i should be able to handle my emotions much better.. somethings are meant to be kept forever..

today, my hotmail and facebook account got hacked -_-" dont know why but just suay.. dont understand why people like to hack into other people accounts.. changed all the passwords..

back from a 10 days trip to taiwan.. flew on the 20th apr early morning and reach taipei abt 7am.. stay in taipei until 23 apr (mon) before take the high speed train to chiayi to go to alishan.. on that evening, i started to have diarrhea.. a serious one that i can feel cramp in my stomach and visiting the toilet almost every 2-3 hrs.. on 24th when we headed to taichung, i went to see doctor.. initially it did help a little but the diarrhea and stuff just came back in the night.. plain food for me, porridge, bread all these for almost 5 days until 27th.. headed to Cingjing farm on the 25th.. that evening, i slipped and fell on somewhere near my tailbone area which is super painful.. can sit properly, whenever sneeze, or sit or sleep, i will feel the pain so since 25th i didnt have a good sleep.. so on 26th when travel to hualien, went to see another doctor for the diarrhea and swollen area near tailbone.. this time diarrhea recovered but still can feel the cramp feeling at times.. doctor tapped near the tailbone area and tell me no sound of broken bone.. so gave me some medicine for the inflammation maybe.. back to taipei on 28th afternoon.. feeling slightly better except for the tailbone area so sitting, standing, walking and stuff can be painful at times.. left taipei on the 29th evening.. back in sg at abt 10.10pm.. so this taiwan trip i only in a healthier mode in taipei which i was quite luckily that i shopped quite alot during my first few days before falling sick and falling down..

this morning went to outram polyclinic to see doctor for the cramp feeling since the diarrhea issue.. also went for x-ray near the tailbone area.. doctor tell me tailbone not that critical. even if there is crack and stuff they wont do anything, will just let it heal itself -_-" anyway he gave me stronger painkillers as i told him i got problem with sitting and standing and even sleeping too.. so 2 weeks later go back to get the diagnosis report although doctor took a look at the xray n tell me everything seem okay but i have a crooked backbone n ask me if it was like this since young which i also dont know =x just hope 2 weeks later i wont feel the pain already then..



something are meant to be kept deep inside, which should never be brought out anyway..