i'm fiNe.. eVeRytHiNg iS bAcK tO nOrMaL..

everything is back to normal le.. sorrie to make u ppl worried for mi.. i'll learn to love myself more k.. sorrie ppl.. let u guys worried le.. i'll be fine.. thanks for all ur concern n i realise i realli got alot of friends that care abt mi ard mi.. thanks ppl...

wAt eLsE cAn i dO? u JIAYOU wOrz..

i'M LOST.. the light that shine to bring me out of tis haze is not there anymore.. having to shine alwayz making him tired. i'm sorrie.. juz let mi struck in tis haze n wait till things get back to normal or when u r there to be my light again ba..

JIAYOU my dear.. hoping everything will be fine for u indeed ur studies or ur basketball..

bye ppl.. i wun blog that much anymore.. blogging now is so miserable.. blogging now is so meaningless.. i feeling very tired le.. is onli 2 n a 1/2 day n i alreay reach my limit le.. i realli so useless.. wat a burden to u n every of my friends.. i realli hope u will pick mi up someday n we will walk together n begin our journey again.. but all tis is my own self de thinking n wish n hope n dream onli la.. a hand wun clap.. but ur hand is too busy n tired to clap mine le.. haiz..

...... ...... ...... ....... i will nv give up on tis relationship....... ...... ..... it sound so similar n it sound like i juz heard it yesterdae... but it is all illusion... my life will still go on.. i noe ur life will go on too.. JIAYOU ba...

wAt m i LeFt witH.. i onLy wAnNa bE witH u..

now at meijie de hse.. todae take 1/2 day leave.. actually did wanna leave so early de but my colleague ask mi to take leave n go see doctor coz i'm having fever n my face look so pale.. i noe i cannot go home de.. going home = no rest.. went to see doc juz now n he gif mi pills to stop my vomiting n giddiness n the medicine will be able to let mi slp better at nite..

these few days alot of things happen until i already lose my true self.. the yenwei used to be is 'dead'.. the yenwei now is still trying to get her up but feel like giving up.. tis 2 n a half days my life is like hell.. my mind is all empty except that it is full wif everything u do b4 n sae b4.. my heart n dead n numb.. how to let it works again? i realli dunno.. i noe i letting my friends worried abt mi but i reaslli dun mind to.. i realli dunno wat else can i do le.. my heart is realli very pain.. have been crying since 24th march evening.. it seems that my body got alot of water to lost coz i dunno y i can cry n cry.. but crying wun help.. i realli hope i can be like u.. u realli dun wan mi le mahz? y r u so cruel..? y u dun even noe u love mi anot.. last time de AI where is it? is all lost through the tiredness that u haf been through ba.. now u feel like putting mi tis heavy stone down but when will u pick mi up again.. u juz let mi down from ur back coz u feeling tired n there are other things that u wanna concentrate on.. u juz left mi there for mi to move on myself.. y u dun tell mi that u r feeling tired n y u dun let mi lightening ur burden.. m i that heavy until at tis point of time u can juz let go of mi.. u sae u nv gif up on tis relationship n u sae u wun.. but now... y cant we juz work things out together.. I RATHER GIVE IN TO U BY NOT HAVING U PEI-ING MI ALWAYZ RATHER THAN GIVING UP THIS RELATIONSHIP.. Y.. Y U WAN MI TO ACCEPT TIS.. Y U WAN MI TO LET GO OF U.? m i realli a burden to u or a responsibility to u.. y u can juz make up ur mind n y cant u change ur mind.. is the love realli not there anymore..

my life can nv be as happie as before le.. feeling sick now but not the headache that is killing mi but is the heart aching that is killing mi.. why? why? nothing can change ur decision anymore? there is no more love in our relationship anymore? tis responsibility muz be killing u n tiring u n which will coz u to collapse.. y m i still think for u.. y u cannot understand my feeling.. y m i still care for u.. i wanna do silly things also cannot coz thinking that by doing that i making ur life feel miserable.. i feeling very miserable now u noe.. i noe u noe but u still keep to ur decision.. i realli dun mind u put more time on ur studies n bball n i realli will wait n support u coz i noe u wanna improve ur studies n bball.. y u make tis decision urself.. i nv sae u cant gif mi happiness.. i nv sae i feeling not happie wif u.. i noe sometime i realli nv appreciate wat u do for mi but y cant we try all over again.. is it bcoz ni bu ai wo le.. y u juz cant let mi be by ur side n take care of u n support u.. i noe wat u wan noe i wun gif u pressure i will onli wait quietly at ur side.. i can help u massage to let u rest well aft ur training.. i can do all tis.. but y u dun gif mi the chance.. why? i realli feel like going to die but i cant bring myself u see u sad.. i realli cannot.. but y u can see mi sad n miserable.. i reali reali love u u noe.. but u dunno u love mi anot.. 11 months plus of relationship n end up mi forcing u to make tis decision.. n end up u dunno who u feel toward mi anymore... is it realli that impossible for us to be together.. is it that difficult.. i guess so ba.. i making u sad n feel un-appreciate n feelso pressurize.. wat a girlfriend m i.. but wat to do.. i juz LOVE you.. haiz...

HEADACHE ! ! !

long long time nv blog le.. finally got the time to blog.. got my result long ago but i still haben received my result slip yet... tml going to call the examination office to ask le.. result very very lousy.. juz hoping that i can get into uni so that i can further my studies n i dun wanna work so early..

having working all these day except for sunday n saturday i work half day.. life become boring coz most of my time is working.. meeting frenz n boyfriend become very seldom.. went to MEJIE de 21th BIRTHDAY celebration last sunday.. i haben meet them for quite long le.. but is gd that we still keep in contact =) saw LLAB10 de players on meijie de birthdae... the feeling very weird like stranger like that.. dear pei mi go to meijie de birthdae celebration but he left aft awhile..

tis few day not feeling very well.. feeling giddy, headache etc.. dunno is it bcoz of the medicine i ate.. todae not onli feeling giddy headache but oso feel heart aching.. not 100% sure wat is the main reason but i noe part of it ba..

receiving ur msg nowadays is very rare le.. is alwayz i msg-ing u to ask u things or to inform u stuff.. having u to reply will also take a very long time if not is no reply.. i alwayz make the effort to let u noe where i'm going or wat i'm going to do.. mayb we r different ba.. different ppl got different habit.. i alwayz think that letting u noe my whereabout is a need so that u no need to worry abt me n that was wat u used to tell mi : "where ever u go, pls let mi noe coz i dunno where/wat u r doing, i'll wry" hmm.. guess now we r all adults le ba.. the need for telling or informing isn't realli needed if not is like under one's control. i noe u r a person who dun like to sms or even if u sms, ur msg will be as short as possible. i also noe that wanting u to let mi noe wat is ur upcoming events also bcome ur BURDEN.. coz is mi who cause u to feel so scared of mi being angry or scare of mi saying u.. perhaps i realli get angry easily ba.. sometime i realli dunno how to differentiate ur SERIOUS & JUST JOKING ONLY attitude.. i still cant figure out..

i thought that today u call mi u will ask mi how m i or mayb juz send mi a msg to ask mi.. but u didnt.. i did not wan to msg u todae again to tell u i'm not feeling well.. i dun wan u to wry but i tot u will ask.. but u didnt.. not todae not yesterday.. i dun wan to keep msg-ing u to disturb u frm ur lesson but not having any reply frm u.. To u, m i a person who will get angry that easily n alwayz angry.. mayb is ba.. that y u everytime sae scare i'll angry.. but that is not angry.. but feeling mayb is i'm disappointed in myself that i alwayz gif u that kind of feeling..

i very tired n my headache is causing mi alot of pain.. juz take the ABOVE as mi talking RUBBISH.. PLEASE DUN TAKE IT INTO HEART.. i realli treasure n cherish tis relationship ALOT ALOT.. i wan things to work out well.. even if it dun but i'll still try..

DEAR wo zhen de hen ai hen ai ni.. i realli love you alot alot..

1st dAy oF adMiN jOb.. s|aNnnn ! ! !

todae is my 1st day to work at ETLA(Eng Tic Lee Achieve) Pte Ltd company as temparory admin at the finance department.. todae work start at 8.15 n i went to wait for the company bus at pasir ris mrt de taxi stand from 7.30-7.50 then i feel that something is not wrong then i took cab down to my work place which is at Changi North Cres which is at the Changi North industrial park there.. onli aft i reach the company and ask the HR person then she tell mi is at the no. 3 bus stop.. haiz.. wasted my cab money lorz.. nvm.. then the HR lady call May bring mi ard the company to see n aft that i went to my working area which is at the 4th level n at the far end.. my department is all ladies.. so is a female working environment.. the ppl there not bad la.. willing to teach mi stuff coz i alot of things also dunno.. so hope i can faster pick up with my work then no need to everything also ask ppl.. work ended at 6pm todae and no OT for mi.. is a gd thing also la coz i realli ery slpy n tired even though i realli wanna earn the OT money.. tml no work coz my work is MON-FRI then is from 8.15am - 6pm.. total 1 hr break including 10 min tea break at 10am n 3 pm n lunch break is from 12.30 - 1.07pm.. i oso dunno y got less 3min de.. but nvm.. the pay is onli $1000 per MONTH n if i wanna take leave is UNPAID leave.. haiz.. so sian..

my work is ok la.. juz filing photocopy keying data arrange n record tax invoice .... ... think on mon still got more things to learn le.. haiz.. juz hope holidae can be over soon i think i wun stay in tis job for long unless in the next few wks/months i find tis job interesting but i think admin work cant be any much interesting ba... juz hope my leg can realli recover fully n wun feel the pain when walking then i might go n do umpiring or wat de.. the pay is better.. haha.. but now wat i hope is that when i step on my right leg i wun feel the pain anymore but recentl i still can feel the pain but i still die die force my leg down on the ground even though is realli damn pain.. i onli hope i wun be limping in the future can le..