I'm BACK..!!!

i'm finally back to blog..
actually i'm back in Singapore on 19th Dec..
as I'm giving my netball friends a surprise tml (271208)
i'm suppose to stay low profile..
that's why i didnt blog for a week..
back on 19th Dec night..
reach airport at around 8.30pm..
then went home rest awhile..
went to CCK Lot 1 to meet ziyang, yongsheng, kangqi, weeten for movie..
we watch IP MAN..

20th dec was CLS gathering..
we have BBQ at East Coast Park..
it felt nice to meet everyone once again..
kind of miss poly life..
everyone is either working, studying, if not in army..
everyone is busy with their own life le..
went for Dim Sum at Geylang..
is super super nice..
haha..
i just love Char Shao Bao..
heez..

21st dec went out with janice..
we went to orchard walk walk..
meet up with *ahem also..
went for *ahem cousin gathering..
they are all so friendly and nice..

22nd dec wake up super early
coz i wanna go to Malaysia High Commission to take my Oath..
but then.. nothing was done..
i'm only there to take a date to come back to do that ceremony..
n best of all..
i got to wake another 10 days before i can get the memo to go to ICA..
to ICA to take Oath too..
citizenship is so ma fan..
haiz..
dun even noe i'm able to get my passport before CNY anot lorz..
if not..
is CNY alone in Singapore =(
haiz..

23rd dec
meet Sports Council colleague for lunch at Leisure park..
haben seen them for quite long..
went back to SSC to meet the rest of the colleague..
although Ms Jane Yang haben to take half day leave..
so i didnt get to see her..
but we will meet up some day..

went to TM/Century Square..
ate at Sakae Sushi (yeah..!! finally sushi buffet.. heez)
my mother say wanna get me a 21st birthday present..
suppose to be a key pendant..
but then not alot of jeweller shop sell key pendant le..
i went from Lee Hwa to Sookee to Gold Heart to CitiGems
to Poh Heng then to SK..
then went from SK to Lee Hwa then back to SK again..
haha..
end up i bought SK de pendant la..
noy key pendant..
but also dunno how to describe the shape..
the sale person just said it give a solitaire feeling..
ok.. i dun understand la.
nvm..

24th dec (X'mas eve)
went for steamboat at SenLin house..
having steamboat during raining day felt so good..
hehez..
we got gift exchange.
we play games n stuff..
is nice to gather like it aft a long time..
and we only went home at ard 2+ am

25th dec (Christmas)
slept to late afternoon coz sleep late the day before..
went to Bugis to catch a movie..
Twilight.. nice..
coz i wear a new pair of shoes
it gave mi blisters
so i got problems trying to walk properly..
have Ajisen as dinner..

26th dec (today)
went to Bugis to pay for my air ticket..
then rush to Orchard for Isetan Private Sale..
but to our disappointment..
it isn't that much cheaper and nothing much to get too..
so i got nothing..
then mi n janice n yongsheng went to Taka to walk walk..
while Ziyang wait for his mother.. (the private sale is ZY jio de)
aft that mi n janice went to Parkway Parade to get some stuff before we left..

it's been a tiring week..
haben been slping alot..
super lack of sleep..
have do my thesis yet..
need to take out some time to do my Honours work le..


thanks for the christmas gift =)
i really like it..
i really love it =p
thanks for spending christmas with me..
thanks for everything and sorry if i did anything wrong..
hope you enjoy it too..

should be updating my blog de..
but then due to some reason..
i got to stay low-profile till 27th dec =x
haha..
done alot of things..
bought alot of stuff..
will update that soon..

low profile..

went to city then to indooro..
went to city to check out the shoes that i saw that day..
before i went to indooro n get it..
so i got my shoes =) heez..
suppose to get the shoes with a slipper kind shoes..
then end up i bought my shoes then kim get the slipper shoes..
heez..
so i got the shoes at $40 la..
still kind of expensive to spend $40 just for a pair of shoes..
but is always better then $50 for a pair of shoes..

wanted to be hardworking today..
but then seems that i can't be..
wanted to do AFM today morning,
but now they got a new rule that need swipe-card then can use the instrument..
nvm..
then i thought i could use the XRR for the whole day then..
but it seems to be giving me problems too..
the intensity is too low..
so now the person in-charge of the instrument is trying to do something abt it..
as for me..
i'm now rotting in sch..
still thinking should i go to fortitude valley to get nougat for Janice..
haiyo..
wanna do work also cant..
seem that everything is giving me problems especially when i'm goin back SG soon..
haiz..
that means i got to work even harder when i got back to brisbane..
haiz..
why like that..
just when i wanna do lot n lot of work..
"they" dun allow me too..
haiz..

super moody now..
is already very sad when i'm the only one in the office
when others are having their official break..
nvm.. is ok..
then went to ask Jeremy nothing then kena 'gan'..
feel super bu shuang now..
just wanna tell him the slide is just like wat arthur said..
but before i can speak..
he just sae..
is a new slide.. then like very impatience..
then sae he is busy..

wahz..
super bu shuang now lorz..
haiz..
i just wanna go home onli..
realli losing the motivations day aft day..
haiz..

went to indooro just now..
wanted to go get the shoes that i wanted..
but then the colour just look kind of different from the one i saw in city
so i decided not to get it..
go city n check it out first..

super tired now..
slp at 4+ 5 am..
was too engross in my show le..
that's why i say i cant start..
if i start..
i will get addicted to the show n will keep watching n watching de..
ok..
watever..

just think whether i show get the show by itself anot..
$49.95 lehz..
is kind of expensive i guess..
haiz..

Retail Therapy =)

just reach home..
meet shu wen and qian hui to go city today..
suppose to go city's GNC to get some stuff for my mother..
and get myself some retail therapy =x
heez..

other than getting the GNC products,
i got myself quite a number of stuff =x
heez..

i got myself a pair of sunglasses from SportsGirl..
(which come with a nice nice box)
a dinner/causal bag (gold colour) from Myer..
a shirt/dress & a denim short (green colour)..
and best of all..
i still got stuff on waiting list =x
coz i went to Nova, a shoes shop, then saw this pair of shoes..
wanna get it with another pair of slipper-like shoes..
but that slipper-like shoes dun have my size..
so got to go to indooro to get that tml..
coz it will be cheaper if i get 2 pairs instead of 1..
heez..

so..
you see..
how much retail therapy i got..
haha..
nv love to shop so much..
but now..
things change..
i shop not onli for sport stuff..
but also those lady stuff k..
heez..

ok.. got to go rest soon le..
kind of tired from the shopping..
plus just now went to sunnybank hill to eat dinner.
we ate Japanese food..
is realli nice..
got sashimi =)
heez..
just cant wait for sushi buffet when i get back to singapore..

rotting in sch now..
suppose to wait for Jeremy (so called co-supervisor) to come de..
but he is still not here yet..
he said he will be in today..
but till now..
at 11am..
still haben seen him yet..!!
supposingly is meeting shuwen at city tonight de..
go for dinner go walk walk..
but then she is down with fever..
so tonight no plan le..
sianz..

so so sianz..
just cant wait to count down to the number of days i'll be back..
OMG..!! can weekends just come very very fast..
then i'll be back home..
the 3rd weekend from now..
i will be in singapore..
yeahz..!!
can't wait for that...

ok..
going to continue to rot..
hopefully he will be in in the afternoon..
if not..
i guess i will go off early..
to the city..
so so sian..
bought my laptop coz need him to install the program..
but he still not in..
haiz..

是否该等待，还是该放弃

can anyone tell me..
should i wait or should i not wait..?
should i hold on to it..?
or should i just let go..?

someone tell me not to wait..
coz waiting for a no outcome thing is just too silly..
might as well go for someone else..

haiz..
sometime just very confused..
sometime waiting for someone with a status
felt better rather than waiting for someone who can just leave without a word..
not that i don't trust you..
is just that i'm not confident in myself..

i understand your stand
you also understand my stand..
but it just that..
nothing can be done to make both of us satisfied
haiz..
but i dun dare to demand much also..
but..
i guess i waited for kind of long..
didn't i..?
haiz..
and i need to wait for even longer..
but for something that can't be confirm..
the feeling is even worse..

sometime it felt so sweet..
but the sweet feeling isn't secure..
it may leave anytime..
haiz..
i just dunno what to do..
or should say..
there is nothing i could do..
is either i wait..
or i leave..
that's all..

but i know ur feeling for me is true..
but it is just not enough to hold us together..
is just not strong to keep us together..
but..
i know if i make a negative decision..
both of us will get disappointed n sad..
but staying positive..
also can't get us any further..

i know u hope things will get better..
hope we will get better..
but no matter what..
within this year n next year..
we just can't be get together..
isn't it..
though is 'together' but just not officially together..
haiz..

actually is just a status..
why should i care so much..
i shouldn't care that much, should i..?

someone did tell me before..
is just a status..
it doesn't mean much..
you can have status but not much feeling n love..
but some couple have no status but you can see they are so lovely..
is just a status isn't it..?

but some will debate and say..
without a status, you are just nothing..
is just unfair to you..
especially to a girl..

haiz..
i'm just very confused at times..
sometime i scare i do too much..
do more than what a friend should do..
expect too much..
expect what only a girlfriend can expect..
can you tell me how to draw that line..?
the line is just too blurred..
i dunno where to draw that line..
or should i draw that line..

you say i shouldn't do that much..
but you can't tell me where to draw that line..
then what should i do..

haiz..

是否该等待，还是该放弃

due to xue ting request..
here's the photo of my shirt =)
the Ralph Lauren shirt that i bought for only $69..
heez..
ans my nike short.. $30 onli..
cheap cheap..

是否应该放弃.....你... ???

another 1.5 week wasted..
i waste my last week time n tis week time
on useless result again..
wasted time to come back sch late at night...
wasted time to come back sch during the weekend..
wasted my time..
and best of all..
i'm been said wasting time..
the machine might as well let other use..
haiz..
what to do..
seem like i'm a waste of time to others..

damn bloody not motivated anymore..
and another news..
i'm been rejected by andrew whittaker to be a research assistant (RA) in his grp..
he said he will give the priority to his team..
haiz..
kind of regretted not taking him as my supervisor..
but what done is done..
seems like my hope to work in australia isn't going well..
sian sian sian..
just hope things will get well..
please..

everything is just going out of way..
everything just seems to be so wrong..
everything just don't work out..
suck...
haiz..

lost the motivation & the enthusiasm for Honours
feeling super low..
ever since cairns trip..
everything doesn't turn out well..

i don't know what will happen when i'm back from SG after 1 month plus..
now very confused n thinking should i go back later
or should i come back to Brisbane earlier..?
haiz..
actually i'm afraid of not enough time..
but it seems to be enough time..
haiz..
contradicting..
can't make a decision..
haiz..

can the machine just work properly
and stop giving me troubles..
can the AFM just produce nice images..
so that i dun waste 2 hours getting no results..
can everything can go smoothly..
please..


4 days passed so fast..
will things change..?
better or worse..?
or will just remain the same..?
time will tell..

actually i'm disappointed..
a little disappointed by ur decision..
but i can't say it out..
but..
the feeling of disappointment & dishearted..
is theree..
been there since..
actually i feel hurted too..
but i guess is i expected too much..

but i know i can't say much..
n i'm very confused..
at least..
others are waiting for someone who have a reason to wait for..
there is reason to wait for u..
but there is just no sense of any security..
coz there is no "attachment"..

ok..
i think i should stop here..
before i get more n more emo..
n u guys are looking at me..
ok..
jus too emo...
the feeling inside me..
but i know i couldn't tell u tis.
it will hurt u too..
n cause us "troubles"
to think a lot again..
i shouldn't expect anything for u..
as i guess..
i will try to pull myself out..
n take back much of the love..
coz i shouldn't be giving so much..
as u feel pressurise..
n i know i shouldnt give so much to hurt myself too much too..
take back n leave u some space too...


其实，一直默默地等待，也会有累的一天。
一直默默地等待，一直默默的期待，也会有想放弃的一天。
我也不知道，我还能在等多久。
不知不觉，已经 7 个多月。
等待 ......
我还是会等的 ... ....

Dinner date & Harbour town

dinner date on friday was great..
though the outcome wasn't that good..
but luckily..
after everything..
is back to peace..
realli like the dating mood..
feel so 'xing fu'..
though isnt that realli xing fu..
but still thanks for the dinner..
thanks for the present that you bought for me..
and hope u like the present i gave to you =)
but hope things will get better la.
(quoted from you)
a step at a time =p

went to harbour town today..
bought a Ralph Lauren shirt..
that long sleeve shirt..
and..
a nike short..
cheap cheap onli..
normally a sport short (nike or adidas)
will cost $40-$50..
but today got 40% sale..
so $50 with 40% sale..
onli cost $30 =)
so is cheaper than those in singapore..
so i just get it..


be more understanding =)

my lab schedule is way way behind..
due to the thunderstorm yesterday and today..
i cant leave my sample to run through the night..
yesterday went back to sch at 9.30 pm
intending to coat another layer on my sample..
then i realise the instrument got error..
the x-ray generator was off..
which i only found out that it was due to the thunderstorm yesterday.
i didn't know that there were power failure as my house didnt have that.
but others in sch and at shopping centers haf that..
so the x-ray will be off..

today there was thunderstorm too..
i intend to stay for awhile to see if the measurement could be done
coz i dun wanna make another wasted trip to uni at 8 pm and 1 am..
but as expected, there is power failure again..
i was in the toilet then the light flicked.
so i went to check on my instrument..
and there it goes..
the x-ray was off so i cant do any measurement..
haiz..
and i cant do anything abt it except wait till tml..
when the one in charge of the instrument to set up the instrument again.
haiz..
another wasted day..
so how can i ever finish my week by this week..
n best of all..
the weather forecast thunerstorm till coming monday..
sian sian sian..

good to went for a swim yesterday..
it felt so shiok =)
especially the weather in the afternoon was so hot..
jumping into the pool feel best ever..
swam 14 laps of 50 m..
in a relax manner la..
relax here n there..
so i was in the pool for 45- 50 mins..
during my waiting time..
and guess what..
the tanned line was there when i went to bath..
so can see how strong n hurtful is the sun in australia..
haha..

ok.. going to slp le..
tml got to do lab again..
hopefully this time i can do slightly more..
haiz..
that is so time consuming with no results..
and once again..
will let my supervisor feel that i'm too slack..
i'm not doing any work..
ok.. wat ever..

slping le..
tired..
tml is 5th =)
heez..
ok.. nitez..

wake up very early today..
manage to get my eyes open at 7 am today..
but onli manage to drag myself out of the bed at 7.30 am..
then faster prepare myself then rush to sch..
suppose to reach sch by 8am
so that i can make it on time to get my experiment start at 8.30 am
but i was 10-15 mins late..
so my whole schedule is pushed back..

yes..
have i mention..
my waiting time for my experiment was 3 hrs 35 mins..
is damn SHIT la..
imagine u got to do lab work from 8am to 9pm..
u onli manage to do that few onli..
but just that ppl dun understand..
just that they think i'm so free when they see mi..
is damn sickening la..
ok.. whatever..

tonight coming back to uni at 9pm and at 12.30am (midnight)..
coz wanna do as much as possible..
coz the instrument is onli book till this friday..
though i know i wun be able to finish them by friday..
so i'm intending to sneak in during the weekend to get them done..
haiz..
why cant they just be more understanding..?

it will be a very very very tiring week..
slping at 1+ 2 am.. then got to wake up at 7 am..
dunno i can tahan for how long..
before i collapse..
but nvm..
just work hard for this 3 weeks..
then i'm going back Singapore =)
wahaha..
can't wait for that..
can't wait to meet my friends..
can't wait to eat lot n lot of foods..
(though i've already gain 5 kg =( haiz..)
can't wait to play netball..
just can't wait for more shopping..
and most of all..
can't wait to drive around during the night..
and eat supper..!!
coz there are night life in Singapore unlike Brisbane..

ok..
the more i say..
the stronger the feeling of getting back..
cannot like that lorz..
now must focus..
just focus for that few weeks..
yes..
just cant wait till the day come..

as for now..
i'm looking forward to the dinner..
dinner on the 5th =)
heez..
only some knows what is it..
but then..
actually also nothing much la..
is just a simple dinner..
looking forward to..
but wouldn't wanna think too much too..
coz it's nothing..
or is it something..
anyway..
let see how thing goes..