suppose to go to have CHOCOLATE BUFFET in city tonight..
but end up i didnt eat =(
haiz..
no space..

i wanna eat chocolate..!!
actually i lost the feeling of happiness when eating chocolate.
i dunno why..
although i still like chocolate
(except white chocolate)
(especially dark chocolate)
but i dun feel that happy anymore..

last time when i'm moody
i'll wanna eat chocolate
just to make myself happy
to cheer up.
last time Famous Amos is my favourite store..
cookies to cheer me up..
my friends know it..
i rmb Meijie did buy mi some Famous Amos cookie
when i 1st flied to Australia..
i miss those feeling..
i love those cookies..

eating chocolate isn't as joyful as last time....

恶作剧之吻 & 恶作剧2吻

being watching some taiwanese show..
恶作剧之吻 & 恶作剧2吻
is 偶像剧 la..
sometime i also do hope i can live in that..
although is tough at times..
but is always happy ending..
最后都会是大团圆结局
幸福一辈子
but everytime will kena say..
watch this kind of not REALISTIC shows..
this wouldnt happen in the real world.
wouldnt happen de.
ya.. i understand that too..
but sometime just let myself stay and live in that world.
at least feel more happy =)
although i know when i look around
in this world.
there isnt such a joyful and happy thing..

ok.. don't emo le..
intro you guys the songs of the show..
and 郑元畅 is 帅 !!!

this is the song which i think it describe my situations most of the time..
from the lyrics you will see why..
"i'm always depend on your memories"
which grow up with me...


你 - 林依晨

风轻轻 我听见你声音
你对着我叮咛 要注意自己的心情
雨轻轻 我听见你声音
你拿着伞靠近 为我遮着风挡着雨
一点点想哭泣 一点点想着你
你的爱很珍惜
我总依赖着你的记忆

你就像风在说话 顺着我方向
你就像海中的波浪 堆着我成长
我明白你的回答 温柔的对话
爱情其实没有办法 不被感动吧
我不说谎

and 忠于原味 - 郑元畅



one is MV



one is 原声带...

leave uni yesterdae at 12.15am..
MIDNIGHT..
OMG..!!!
the journey home is quite scary =x
from Chemistry building to the Stadium..
i got to keep myself alert..
look behind me from time to time
to ensure that i wasn't follow..
didnt went for the Birthday surprise thingy for Ziyang..
the rest met at 11am to write card and stuff.
heard that he was kena "raped" till damn terrible..
haha..

reach home at around 12.40 like that..
it was a slow walk home..
damn tired after one long day without much result..
haiz..
but manage to get the pH for the solutions..
which took so damn long to be stable..
doing more lab work now..
using the UV-Vis instrument de computer =x
it will be a long day today too..
or maybe i should sae..
from yesterday onward..
i'll be in lab for super long..
will nv get home before 6 plus 7 pm..
onli manage to reach sch at ard 10 am..
which i should try to make it 9 am..
let see how's thing goes..

is mid semester break next week..
ziyang and yongsheng and their chem eng friends are going to sydney
for plant visiting which is also call field trip ba..
so good =(
then darryl will not have lessons next week..
but..
i still got to come to lab for the week
coz
i dont have mid semester break =(
haiz..
or should sae..
i not suppose to have any break..
no SUMMER BREAK too..
onli break i have is x'mas break coz Uni is closed for that week.
but
i'll be going back to singapore to settle my citizenship matter
plus celebrate CNY =)
so i got some break which i'm not suppose to have la..
so..
i got to get my work done as much as possible..
so that i wun be behind schedule and cant get my break..
got to JIAYOU le..
tired..



i tell myself to choose to face you
and treat you with another attitude.
a different attitude.
a attitude to draw a clear line between us.
which is better for both of us.
coz i've been unfair to you.
i'm always hoping to find in you
the things i had lost.
but i know i will never find it.
coz those do not come from you.
i'm sorry.
for being so naive and selfish.
but this is a better way out.
to draw that line.

HapPy BirtHdaY to SeN LiN & Zi YaNg..!!!

is 10pm now..
still in sch..
still doing some lab work..
things dont turn well todae..
cant get any good result..
haiz..
still trying to re-do..
if not i'll be behind schedule le..

my favourite pillow de case got HOLE =(
is a BIG BIG hole =((((
haiz..
going to try to sew it back..
got onli that pillow case..
cant get an replacement..
so must sew it ba..


anyway..
today is SEN LIN & ZI YANG Birthday..
is SEN LIN 21st Birthday..
but is ZI YANG 23rd Birthday ( Realli is Uncle Lim =x )
hope you guys have a wonderful day..
although i know ziyang wouldn't =x
today he got exam.
tml got assignment to submit..
plus..
he is still "waiting" to be rape..
haha..

ok..
got to go back lab le..
things not going smoothly..
and i broke 2 glass ware today =x
haiz..

going back to sch later..
either going to run some experience..
if not is going to read my journals..
tonnes and tonnes of them..
coz i need to know the fact..
and understand what cause this and what cause that..
need literature value..

haiz..
i guess i realli being too slack le..
ian gentle was saying that he like nv see me much in lab..
=(
haiz..
i'm in lab..
i'm not in early..
but i'm in till late..
although i did never go for quite a few days..
is always like..
i'm in early and stuff he nv look for mi..
when i'm not in or i'm late..
he was looking for me..
is kind of suay ba..
what to do..
todae overslpt again..
i wake up at 8..
i rmb..
but i dunno how come i close eyes then open again..
is 11am le =x
haiyo..
got to jiayou de..
now planning my schedule..
so that i'll be on track..
will be on time..
since i'll be back in SG for 1 month plus..
got to finish up as much as possible..
before i fly back..

alright..
going to cook my dinner and head to sch le..
indo mee for dinner todae..
=x
OTOT (own time own target)
is always like that de..
either is da bao..
if not is instant noodle..
ok la..
lazy to cook now la..
hungry..

Netball training =)

went for some netball training todae..
coz i'm playing for the ASEAN games held in UQ..
Singapore, Malaysia, Brunei, Indonesia.
Netball, Basketball & Soccer..
Basketball is on 10 oct.
Soccer on 11 Oct.
Netball on 12 Oct (Sunday).
The feeling of playing Netball again is damn SHIOK la..
although the balls use here is different from what we use back in SG..
Ian was at the training too..
coz it happened that some of his church group ppl is playing the ASEAN games too..
then they were having their training..
my fitness is not there..
especially when i was playing Center..
is fun...
training again next week..
hope things will be fine..
and my ankle wun give mi any problem..
still waiting for 1 of my ankle brace to arrive..
but my the other ankle brace is lost..
lent that to diana..
then diana pass to either mari or meijie..
but then not with them..
they cant find..
so mari was asking i wanna buy a new one n send over..
but then..
is not cheap..
hmm..
still thinking whether to get another one anot..
from The World of Sports..

善意的谎言

recently.. this topic keep appearing in my mind..
White Lies..
善意的谎言..
善意是什么定义？
又要怎样才算是善意？
但当你说谎时，
你已经伤害了对方。
虽让，你可能认为
你是不想伤害对方
才说了你认为是善意的谎言。
但我们可否想过
当对方知道被欺骗时
他/她 是否已经受伤了。

谎言本来就是说了
是不想让别人知道真相。
那……善意的谎言，
又是抱着什么出发点？
是不是也是不想把真相说出来
以免，伤害别人，
害怕别人会失望。
其实，又好像跟普通的谎言
没有什么差别？

谁来告诉我？
谁来指导我？
我又再一次停留在原地
因为，
我又有难题，
又有问题逗留在我脑海里。

still in lab doing my work..
was not early todae..
did wake up at 8+ am todae..
but i slpt back =x
the next moment i wake up was 9+ am le..
get change and head to sch..
reach sch at 10 plus am..
trying to get my experiment started so that i wun stay back late..
started at 11 plus..
which mean at 8 plus pm then i will be going home
as 1-2pm there is a compulsory seminar..

things were alright..
shouldnt be staying till too late..
but..
aft i coated one layer on my substrate..
aft the UV/Vis absorbance measurement
i took the quartz slide out..
and guess wat..
i drop the slide and it broke =(
OMG..!!
that mean i got to restart..
and is already 12 plus le..
haiz..
seems like i can onli start aft the seminar..
so now is 5 pm..
i'm onli at 9th layer..
still got 14 more layers to go..
it seems like i will be here till 10 pm
or maybe even later..
haiz..
sian 1/2..
tired..!!
dinner is muffin..
just bought a chocolate chip muffin as my dinner..
if not..
nothing to eat in sch le..
ate cinnamon toast just now..
coz i onli have a cup of soup as lunch..
haiz..
lonely..
lunch alone =x
ok la..
normally eat in the office lorz..
if not i always feel that eating alone look very weird..
anyway..
just hope nth goes wrong..
then i wun need to stay till midnight..

Man U vs Liverpool (1-2)

went to city to watch soccer match todae.
Man U vs Liverpool..
was a not bad match..
is funni in the sense that i watch that in city..
with a big group of friends plus other locals n other countries ppl..
alot of funni things ba..
Man U was leading at the 3rd min..
but then it was a draw after an OWN goal by Man U..
then in 2nd half..
Liverpool got most of the possession..
it ended with 2-1..
Liverpool won..

heard that there will be another match later..
Chelsea vs some other team..
but didnt watch la..

home now..
wanted to go sch todae but i didnt..
instead went to Westend Market..
Rare =x
is my 2nd time at that market in my 1 year plus in Australia..
so didnt go to sch since i was onli home at 12+ 1 pm..
thinking of going to sch tml..
need to get another film done so that i can compare the result..
just hope i will be able to go sch ya..

my presentation was finally over on thurs..
i also dunno did it counted as not bad..
i guess i didnt speak that clearly and into details..
as usual..
i'm nervous..
so i speak very fast n like kind of rushing thru' i believe..
i was stuck at the Questions section..
i dunno how to answer the questions ask by the lecturers..
haiz..
got to read more n know better of my work..
found out that who are my examiners (3 of them)..
and i know i'm going to die in the real presentation le..
since they are my examiner =(
haiz...

didn't go to sch todae which i'm suppose to..
i need to run my experiment and get some results.
but i was just too tired..
i slept earlier than usual..
i slept at 12am in the midnight..
but i cant get myself out of the bed even at 10+am..
haiz..
i was mentally and physically tired..
mentally tired is due to the presentation..
which make mi stress n cant slp..
as for physcially tired is coz i went running on wed..
then till todae..
my muscle is still aching..
my first run in australia..
cant realli rmb when was the last time i realli did a run..
i think is in jan during llab 10 training..
the run was not bad..
but still need to jiayou..
coz i cant realli run now le..
become more n more fat =x

anyway..
i'm still very tired...
aft my almost 24 hours of sleep =x
i wake up at around 12 just now..
haha..

as usual..
is 5am now..
and i'm not sleepy at all..
when i'm suppose to be in deep sleep now..
but i'm not..

haiz..
i know i need to get my sleeping time right..
but i think that can't be possible for the time being..
doing my seminar presentation slides..
added animations..
hope it will be better..
trying to write my speech out..
so that i can read and practise that..
but i know i cant read and speak during the seminar..

i'm just very stress and worried about the seminar..
is my 1st time doing a presentation on my own..
is the 1st time i'm presenting alone..
is the 1st time i got to talk in front of so many people with my lousy english..
is the 1st time i got to answer all the question ask alone..

i hate presentations..
i hate speaking in front of others..
i cant speak well i know..
especially with that english of mine..
if you ask mi present or speak in chinese..
that wun be a problem..
but now..
i got to speak in front of so many lecturers..
got to stand confidently in front..
i'm lack of confident..
i'm always a person who lack of confident..
haiz..
this seminar talk is pressuring me alone..
although is it not assessed..
but it will affect and leave the impressions on the lecturers..
who might be assessing me when come to my Honours thesis presentation..
so i got to do it well..
to leave a good impression..
but i'm stress..
stressed up by that..
haiz..
i'm worried..
i'm afraid..
haiz..

愛來過

recently watching this taiwan OST 斗牛.要不要
the songs are very nice and meaningful..
by S.H.E



S.H.E - 最近還好嗎 MV(完整版)
(偶像劇鬥牛要不要片尾曲)

挑一張耶誕卡寫上滿滿祝福的話
地址寫的是心底你能不能收到它
天有點冷 風有點大 城市寧靜而喧嘩
這一個冬天我得一個人走回家

問自己習慣了嗎
沒有你每到夜裡回聲變得好大
有沒有什麼好方法
讓寂寞變聽話

你最近還好嗎
是不是也在思念裡掙扎
你說會記得我還記得嗎

你最近還好嗎
忙碌嗎累嗎心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快樂出發

有再多的牽掛都已沒有權利表達　
舊情人給的問候比陌生人還尷尬　
昨天遠了 明天還長 回憶模糊但巨大
這樣的深夜眼淚要怎樣不流下

問自己習慣了嗎
沒有你每到夜裡回聲變得好大
有沒有什麼好方法
讓寂寞變聽話

你最近還好嗎
是不是也在思念裡掙扎
你說會記得我還記得嗎

你最近還好嗎
忙碌嗎累嗎心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快樂出發

but i like this song more




愛來過 - S.H.E

我看不开 也放不开
因为我曾见过爱情真的盛开
我要等待 一直等待
等那一个夜晚总会赢回来

当你拥抱着我那一瞬间
我像飞到空中
而当我缓缓降落 我不再是我
我有了梦 我在梦中

爱来过来得那么美那么凶
欢呼着从我生命狠狠碾过
连遗憾也都不整齐的珍惜着笑容
爱来过让我完整过 幸福过
怎么能轻易放它走
我不想解脱 我只怕错过
我只是要等你回来爱我

寂寞喧哗 我不害怕
因为我只听得见对你的牵挂
世界很大 会容得下
我这小小 傻傻顽固的信仰
你有没有过承诺 我已忘了 那已不重要了
反正我都会守侯 在梦中守侯
我最唯一 最美的梦

爱来过来得那么美 那么凶
欢呼着从我生命狠狠碾过
连遗憾也都不整齐的珍惜着笑容
爱来过让我完整过 幸福过
怎么能轻易就放它走
我不想解脱 我只怕错过
我只是要等你回来

如果需要种勇气起来交换回忆
就让泪蒸发 像这雪花
和我一起在爱中被融化

rehearse for seminar failed..!!!

done with my seminar presentation rehearsal not long ago..
suck..
failed..
everything dont turn out well..
i was confident at the beginning..
speak well at the beginning..
but as time goes..
i trying to rush thru stuff..
i start to mumble..
i was stuck with the slides..
don't know what to speak..
haiz..
then got to amend my slides..
got to practise more..
tml there is another practise session for me again..
coz todae i didnt do well =(
haiz..
actual presentation is on thurs (sept 11)
hope it will go well..
got to do more work le..
must practise my speech..
speak loudly..
speak clearly..
be more confident..
ahwei JIAYOU..!!

me...

didn't sleep well..
edited my presentation slides..
slept at 5am in the morning..
wake up at 7 plus am..
went back to sleep..
but just wake up every 10 minutes..
haiz..
the feeling suck..
just suck..
i'm tired..
i know i need to sleep.
i need to rest..
but..
that mind of mine..
never rest..
thinking too much things..
wanting it to rest..
fighting it to rest..
but my body only win the battle for 2 plus hours..
and i'm awake..
is really the "what the" feeling..
haiz..
waking up every 10 minutes is torturing..
cant getting to sleep in the night is tiring..
only manage to fall asleep near dawn..
but only afford that few hours sleep..
before i got to go to school..

whenever is the "down" period of my life..
this thought will come to my mind..
"is this what you want?"
"what do you really want?"
i never find the answer..
or maybe there is answer to it.
but changing it always..
always finding or doing stuff..
just the way others want..

"when will you live for yourself?"
i did ask myself that..
actually..
i did live for myself once..
live the life that i want..
know what i want..
but..
when i lost what i wanted most..
it seems to me i lost the whole world..
maybe is too exaggerating..
maybe i just lost my life with that..
lost myself with that..
i know i got to find myself back..
but instead of something pushing me forward..
i found myself being pulled backward..
or maybe.. i'm just not moving at all..

i'm 21 le..
21 years of life..
found myself during some of the years.
but lost myself for many years too..
maybe it doesnt make any sense to others..
but i know what i'm saying..
in some situation..
i found myself..
but in many situation..
i'm not there..
where did i go..?
where have i gone..?
i know where i was..
in my dreamland..
in my own world..
in the world that i want things to be like..
in the world..
that i won't see the coldness of the world..
in the world..
that i see only laughter, joy and enjoyment..
but that world..
only exist once in a very long while..
too long while..
that make mi lost myself ever more..
make mi not going to know myself anymore..
make me being the "me" that isn't me..

guess for the time being..
i don't intend to find back that original "me"
coz it will make my life more torturing
as the world that is around me
doest suit that "me" that was lost.
whether am i what i am now..
isn't that important for the time being..
living the life now..
that other wanted to..
living the life now that is better for my future..
in the future..
when i know that i can get back the "me"
i will find that back..
but i'm just afraid..
that "me" might be lost forever..



insomnia..
maybe need some sleeping pills..
but panadols cant be taken too often..
if not..
it won't work for in the future
as the system becomes immune to them..
muscle relax pills..
that come to my mind..
i have that before..
due to some reasons..
doctor gave it to me..
so that i can sleep..
but now..
i know i got to sleep..
even without the help of those pills..
.... ....
sleeping is always what i do..
when i'm bored..
when i can't think of stuff to do..
is just an enjoyment to me..
so..
i got to sleep..
no matter what..

Happy 21st Birthday to you..

Happy 21st Birthday..!!

this will be the last time ba..
from today..
09 September 2008
on your 21st Birthday..
on that 11th months..
i'm making this decision..
no more of you..
no more of Low Yong Zhen in my life..
no more of Low Yong Zhen in my mind..
no more of Low Yong Zhen in my heart..
i'll keep whatever feeling i have for you in me..
no matter is love, like, hate or no more feeling..
that will be kept in me
not to be said anymore..
i guess is realli the time to keep that le..
is useless..
not useful at all..
the feeling make mi weak and strong at the same time..
weak when the thought of you aren't there just for me anymore..
strong when the thought of proving to you i can do it..
stay strong just for you or maybe just for me..
is contradicting..
yes.. it always is..
but from this point
from this date (090908),
and from this time onward (2.00AM)
i'll never mention those feeling anymore..
no matter is care
is concern
or is love..
when people ask me about you..
i'll just smile and say nothing much..
say that we are friends..
nothing more and nothing less..
is just friends..
it will be nothing more..

a friend that will read my blog often..
a friend that give me encouragement and support
when he knows that i'm giving up and falling..
a friend that will scold me when he feels that i'm not doing right..
a friend that care for me just as a friend..
and that my friend, Low Yong Zhen..

although is a regret that we onli talk through blogs..
through tags..
but i'm thankful to you..
thanks for always there when i'm talking 'here'
and you are reading 'there'..
thanks for letting me feel that i'm not alone
even though i always feel i'm standing alone
when i'm feeling down..
thanks for whatever you have done..
the good ones..
the bad ones..
all those..
make me grow up..
make mi see the world..
make mi understand how naive i was..
make mi understand i got to be mature..
and not being stubborn..

silly and stubborn..
those are my characters..
the characters that make people hate me..
make mi angry with me..
make people disappointed..
make mi understand me..
make people know what i want for myself..
is good and is bad too..
should i change..?
some will say Yes and some will say No.
Yes, if you feel is better for you.
No, you are who you are, if you change that isn't you anymore.
Yes, you change for the sake of yourself.
Yes, you change to make yourself a better person.
No, never change for someone else. Only change for yourself..
all these..
sound so familiar..
it used to be an argument..
but the answers are always different..

but first of all..
"ask yourself, what do you want for yourself"
"why are you in Australia?"
"what do you want to do in your life?"
"what is important to you?"

"Love can't get you anywhere.."
"Love can't give you money to eat.."
"Love ....."
I should ask " what is LOVE ? "
"what is true love"
remember there were a debate among my friends in australia..
"true love doesn't exist"
that make mi wonder..
make mi confused..
make me think..
"what is Love?"
some say is just companionship.
some say is just liking..
sone say ... it doesn't exist..
i say.. "it does exist, but i lost that. and i will never find that"
didn't grab that when it was in front of me.
so now..
" what is LOVE ? " to you...?
what is that..? to my friendss..?



i miss you gers..
i miss those poly life..
i miss those catching up time..
i miss those gossiping time..
i miss those silly and funny shots we took..
i just miss those times..
talking on phones that day with you gers..
glad to hear your voices..
glad to know that you gers are doing fine..
meet up when i'm back..
i'm still in a contradicting mood..
.... .....

insomnia = 失眠症

having irregular sleeping hours..
for last week..
only went to school on Mon, Wed & Fri..
was too tired on Tues and Thurs..
haiz..
doing lab from 10+11 am till 8+9 pm..
is tiring..
mentally and physically tiring..

for the weekend..
slpt when the sky out there was bright..
and wake up when the sky turned dark..
is so irregular..
not good for my body for my health..
but i'm having problems with my sleep..
i can toss and turn for 2-3 hours..
just to get myself asleep..
haiz..
when i'm asleep..
i've bad dreams..
that make mi wake up times and times again..
the dreams keep repeating..
i did dream of him..
but it wasnt a sweet or good dream..
i did dream of some weird stuff and creatures..
that make mi wake up in between my sleep..
haiz..
i just got the weird feeling..
how long will my dreams repeat or continue...?
how long will tis happen..?
sleeping become a problem for mi..
falling asleep is just a problem..
i can be very very very tired for the day..
but when i'm back home..
i just can't sleep..
i just can't..
insomnia..
失眠症 ...
haiz..
emotions do affect one's health..
emotions do affect one's body..
emotions...

Finally.. my film is done..!!

is 8.50pm now..
finally got my film done..!!
haiz..
going to walk home le.. is dark outside..
dunno will it be cold..
go home eat dinner..
or maybe i shouldnt eat le since is so late le..
i'm getting fatter n fatter each day..
tummy getting bigger n bigger each day..
haiz..
i need to run.
i need to slim down..
i need to pick up my fitness..
i need to get fit..
i must slim down..!!
dicipline..!!
determination..!!
wanna go run todae but cant..
seem like i cant run during wkday le..
unless my lab manage to end early..
anyway.. got to go le..
before it realli late..

7 hrs 40 mins for dipping method..!!!

is 7.25pm le.. i'm still in lab =(
OMG..!!
didnt know that this dipping method will take mi so long..
calculated the time need for this dipping process..
dip 10 mins. rinse 1 min. nitrogen dry 4-5mins.
UV/Vis measurement 4-5 mins..
i give an average of 20min minimum for each layer..
i got 3 sublayers to be formed on the substrate..
then 10 bilayers of porphyrins and polyelectrolytes..
so total i got 23 layers..
23 times 20 mins is 460 mins..
which is 7 hrs 40 mins..
OMG..!!!
even if i come in from 9 am to 5pm..
i nv complete tis process even without lunch..
haiz..
and usually i come in at 10am..
still got 4 more layers to go..
which is 80 mins more..
which is 1 hr n 20 mins more..
which mean i'm onli going home aft 8.30 pm todae..
plus clear up and stuff.. abt 9pm..!!! OMG..!!
ok.. got to go continue my stuff le.. haiz..


emo.emo.emo.
did i mention..
the day u book in
is the day that mark
the 1 year since we break up..
anyway..
is not important ya =)
ok. contradicting emotions..

emotion...

didnt go to sch todae =x
i was just too tired..
cant get myself out of the bed..
onli wake up at 5.30pm todae..
haiz.. just feeling tired..
emotional..
whenever the day for special occasion is reaching..
my mood will be totally affected..
cant realli slp yesterday night..
my mind just keep thinking..
i even haf dreams of you..
haiz..
i know i got to win my emotion..
cant let it get control of mi..
i'm alright..
i'm realli fine..
tis is realli words from my heart..
but my heart will just feel the ache..
ur birthday is reaching...
soon..
and one more month from that..
is almost a year..
almost a year le..
why it still hurts..
it still hurts..
guess it is life ba..
even though i can say..
i'm moving forward..
i'm moving on..
i think i'm alright le..
but when come to actual thing..
i failed.. again..
i thought i already make it..
i thought i have already let it go..
i thought i have already walk away from it..
but why is it that i failed.. again n again..
but.. i know i get stronger..
i wun cry about that anymore..
i wun cry anymore..
i can speak of it with a smile..
i'm still blessing you to be blessed..
and of course..
hoping that i'm blessed too..
still got months to be here before i can go back SG for Chinese new year..
i miss my friends..
i miss netball..
i miss everything in SG..
impressively..
i didnt miss you that much =)
i'm glad i didnt..
and i know you will be glad too..

placing myself in a no where position just make myself lost.
i feel the care from 'you'
but i know nothing will come out from 'us'.
i always ask myself..
do i realli like 'you'
or are 'you' that replacement of him..
is unfair for 'you' and for mi..
coz i know i'm not for 'you'
and i know 'you' are not for mi..
my feeling for him is much much more than that for 'you'
just like that 'you' have for mi..
maybe is just a need..
that keep us there..
need for someone to talk to..
need for someone to listen to..
but..
'we' are just not the one that 'we' are looking for..
'we' know it..

1st day of Spring 2008..!!!

today is the first day of spring..
but weather is still cold although the temperature isnt that low anymore..
is no more single digit temperature in the night..
is much warmer in the afternoon..
but still can feel the wind and the cold..
still wearing jacket to school..
those thicker jacket..
but not thin jacket which is wear for nice nice de..

life still the same..
not much..
school.. home.. slp..
that's the routine..
haiz..
nothing happening..
nothing to look forward..
actually i'm looking forward to the netball matches..
but i got the feeling..
there won't be enough gers to form a team..
since then..
my only interest is netball..
nothing much..
haiz..
emo period again..
haiyo..
emo emo emo..