dEaR tAke cAre k.. fAsteR rEcOvEr

...The 7th day without dear dear by my side...
没有你在身边的第 7 天


dear.. u take care k.. noe now u very xin ku.. haiz.. so 担心 when heard u sick.. hope u will feel better soon.. competition coming le so must take good care of urself k.. noe u wanna play well for this IVP so u must faster recover k.. hmm.. tot can talk longer to u but noe u very xin ku now la.. somemore u oso got nth much to talk to mi.. so.. next time when got things then talk ba.. hope next time won't hear you sae "我没有东西跟你讲".. hmm.. nothing to talk abt?? haiz.. nvm.. hope next time u will haf things to talk to mi.. is hear u sae "dear 我有很多东西要跟你说" hmm.. u rest well k.. sleep more then can fight with the 病菌 !! take care.. hope u will haf a speedy recovery.. JIAYOU.. eat more vegetables n fruits... sleep early.. dear dear jiayou..

27 days to revision week. 36 days to 1st exam paper. 46 days to last exam paper.
49 days to SEE my dEaR dEar iN SiNgApOrE !!! 18tH NoVeMbEr hEre i cOme !!
你在等我回来吗？？

Nando's? haha.. stunts..

...The 7th day without dear dear by my side...
没有你在身边的第 7 天


just come back from eating Nando's at Mitre Street which is just 2 streets away from my house.. Daniel jio us for Nando's todae de.. ok la.. haf a great time chatting crapping n lame-ing la.. then was discussing abt renting house n whether to go back SG early n stuff.. then also craps n lame abt some stuff oso cant rmb is wat but juz noe is craps la.. =x haha then aft that when we decide to go off that time.. BERNARD TAN JUN WEN did a stunt.. realli stunt.. he took the Nando's the number waiting stand.. is like that number board ppl give u for u to put on ur table then they will serve the food to u.. for Nando's one is a rooster with a number on it.. it is quite a big wan.. then that bernard go back to the table.. then we act act.. then juz take the board n walk off =x is realli OMG.. haha.. we keep laughing on our way home sia.. haha.. anyway.. is realli a stunt la.. ppl see le juz stare at us when they saw bernard with that big rooster number stand.. haha..

27 days to revision week. 36 days to 1st exam paper. 46 days to last exam paper.
49 days to SEE my dEaR dEar iN SiNgApOrE !!! 18tH NoVeMbEr hEre i cOme !!
你在等我回来吗？？

i'M stiLL yOuNg ! ! =) or i oLd Le =(

...The 7th day without dear dear by my side...
没有你在身边的第 7 天


as usual will auto wake up at 7+ am then try to slp back but at 8+ am heard upstair de ah nah talking then try to slp back again then 9+ heard michelle talking.. then at 10+ am i realli cant help it but wake up le.. hmm.. slp at 2+3 am but y my body de condition realli change liao sia.. what happen lehz.. or i old le.. need a few hrs slp nia =x haha.. u noe old ppl slp a few hr enuff le.. haha.. y ar.. this cannot happen to mi.. i'm still YOUNG !!! haha.. i'm juz a ger that juz reach 20 yrs old lehz.. haha.. dunno la.. dun crap le.. if this continue it can be a good thing coz i'm not as pig as before.. but 1 thing not good is that i realli LOVE sleeping.. wahaha.. mayb soon it will be back to normal le then i will be as pig as usual =p hehe.. but guess my ear getting very sensitive to sound/noise ba.. coz michelle they all say they nv even talk loudly but i could hear them very clearly in my room when my room is the furthest from the living room lehz.. hmm.. y ar.. this is not good.. is like tt i cannot be pig liao =x haha.. nvm.. i will JIAYOU to be a PIG =x haha.. ok.. time for work.. 努力 努力 再努力 ! ! !

got spy tell mi u yesterdae got basketball friendly match worz.. didn't haf the chance to see n noe how u played.. but hope u played well.. u must be very tired ba.. realli is full of activities.. haiz.. cant help u or wat.. juz hope u r ok.. take care worz... wanna msg u but scare u r taking a rest aft training.. guess u must be very tired ba.. yesterdae got friendly match then at night go for friend de wedding dinner then todae morning still got Hua Tien bball training.. then later evening still got PL training.. u jiayou worz.. dun wanna msg u to disturb u frm taking nap coz think u realli need as much rest as possible.. u realli 辛苦 le.. 不能帮到你什么，也不能帮你负担些什么，但希望你很好 =) 要多多照顾自己的身体喔。

27 days to revision week. 36 days to 1st exam paper. 46 days to last exam paper.
49 days to SEE my dEaR dEar iN SiNgApOrE !!! 18tH NoVeMbEr hEre i cOme !!
你在等我回来吗？？

rUbBisH sCiEntiFic tHeoRy ??

...The 6th day without dear dear by my side...
没有你在身边的第 6 天


is time to do my work n jiayou.. but still hoping could hear ur voice.. still trying to get use to this but i noe i will nv get use to it coz if i realli get use to it mean there is something wrong le.. haha.. is alright that i miss u coz i love u.. is alright that i'm waiting for u to haf free time for mi coz i noe u love mi.. is alright that we r separated now but we noe that we are alwayz there for each other coz we noe we love each other.. we noe we will be together after all the hard work and endurance n sacrifice.. distance cant keep us apart.. maybe physically but not "chemically" coz we haf chemistry for each other.. haha.. scientific talk?? haha.. ok la.. haf to go jiayou before u start to 'scold' mi liao.. hehe.. but.. but... 我还是很想你.. haha.. 你有想我吗？ haha.. okok.. go do work liao.. u free let mi noe ba then we can talk on fone how late oso never mind coz is wkend so can talk over night =) hehe.. muackx..

不知道你在喝朋友的喜酒时，有没有想到我呢？哈哈.. 也对啦.. 怎么会想到我呢.. hMmm.. sTuPid qUeStioN.. haha..


28 days to revision week. 37 days to 1st exam paper. 47 days to last exam paper.
50 days to SEE my dEaR dEar iN SiNgApOrE !!! 18tH NoVeMbEr hEre i cOme !!

GAMBATE ! ! !

...The 6th day without dear dear by my side...
没有你在身边的第 6 天


finally wake up le.. realli think my body de clock spoilt.. slp at 12 + 1 am yesterday but dunno y suddenly wake up at 4+ am.. so no choice cant realli slp back so did part of my assignment.. then at 5+6 am i tell myself i must die die oso slp back liao if not afternoon i confirm will feel slpy de.. then 9+ am wake up again then slp back then finally at 11+ am i wake up la.. haiz.. y like tt ar.. cannot tahan n cannot help it oso lehz.. hmm.. realli spoilt liao.. haha.. no control over my body with the slping time n slping hours n wat time i wake up... sian ar... nvm.. go do my work le.. jiayou..

dream of u again.. suddenly realli hope that u r at my side.. missed ur hug missed ur jokes missed ur crap-ness missed lame-ness miss ur crazy-ness missed everything abt u.. hmm.. nvm.. yenwei jiayou.. soon u will see ur dear dear le.. so jiayou for this 1+ month... GAMBATE !!

i'M sO Zi LiaN.. haha..

...The 5th day without dear dear by my side...
没有你在身边的第 5 天



a gEr dEepLy iN LOVE & sHoWeR witH LOVE (我是幸福的女人)
( is a good hair day =p )


mY fAcE LoOk piMpLe-LeSs (爱情的滋润) ^-^


i'M dAy-dReAmiNg cOz i'M tHiNkiNg oF yOu


let mE tHiNk aR.. hMm..

why do i alwayz wake up at 7+am

...The 5th day without dear dear by my side...
没有你在身边的第 5 天


as usual.. i was awake at 7.20 am today.. i tot i see wrongly the time coz i onli slpt at 4 am that mean i onli slpt for 3hr + but y is my body waking up.. i should be very tired n wanna slp till late late.. i focus myself back to slp.. then wake up at 9+ am.. then i keep telling myself i need at least 6 hr of slp.. so when i manage to get back to slp.. that is stupid noise outside the house.. someone is trying to cut the grass so the noisy is so long n kind of loud.. i try to use my pillow to cover but soon i realli cant tahan le.. so juz wake up.. haiz.. dunno when will my body back to normal.. i been waking up at 7am all these days even though i nv set alarm to that time.. i nv been like this ever lehz.. i'm a pig which like to slp de lehz.. y is it like tt lehz.. as usual.. my hse mate sae my body/clock spoil liao.. the time i wake up is wat they cant believe as they noe even since i'm here i alwayz slp till late late de but now i alwayz wake up before noon.. haha..

anyway is time to do work.. today die die must complete my assignment n 1 of my report..
Stuff to complete :

1. CHEM 3007 Assignment 1 - due 01/10/07
2. CHEM 3007 Expt 2 Report - due 02/10/07
3. CHEM 2041 Expt 4 Report - due 05/10/07
4. CHEM 2056 Expt 2 Result sheet - due 08/10/07
5. CHEM 3009 Presentation (How Much Oil is Actually Left?) - due 23/10/07
6. CHEM 3007 Assignment 2 - due 26/10/07
7. CHEM 2041 Write-up for Expt 1 & 3 - due 26/10/07
8. CHEM 3009 Essay (Can Nuclear Power be Green?) - due 29/10/07

still got other practical de result sheet to do depend on when is the prac.. ok.. must go do work le.. YENWEI JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU ! ! !

i'M rEtUrNiNg oN 18tH nOv 2007 ^-^

...The 4th day without dear dear by my side...
没有你在身边的第 4 天


my return flight detail has changed.. i'm returning on 18th Nov 2007 instead of 26th Nov 2007 coz my exam finish on 15th Nov then dunno wat to do for that 10 days.. wanna go to Melbourne but wanna budget.. so push forward my flight date then faster go back Singapore to find a part-time job ba.. haben inform anyone yet.. later going to tell my sis to ask her tell my father.. as for other ppl mayb when i go back it isn't important.. anyway.. just post it here for those who visit my blog to know =) i'll be back sooner than i tell u ppl le.. hope u guys r looking forward for my return =p

wanna tell you this but mayb i shouldn't ba.. if u got read my blog then u will noe ba.. didn't wanna msg u to bother u.. coz i think whenever u think of mi u feel very pek chey ba.. so.. is better i dun contact u ba.. mayb is a better solution n is fairer to u ba coz i realli affect ur mood in a not gd way.. perhaps stop contacting each other is the best option ? i also dunno but i will stop contacting u.. or mayb should sae i will minimise n control myself from contacting you.. will it be better to u? i will stop myself from wanting to msg u from hoping that u will contact mi.. stop all the dreaming.. stop everything.. mayb this is the right way.. right thing to do.. i dunno.. juz let it be ba.. i cant do anything at all actually.. n i dun wanna give u trouble..

anyway.. YEN WEI is time to 奋斗.. 加油 ! ! !
you onli haf urself now.. no one else le.. u can onli depend on urself le.. JIAYOU !

EXAMINATION TIMETABLE is OUT !!! DIE LE LA..

...The 4th day without dear dear by my side...
没有你在身边的第 4 天

The University of Queensland
St Lucia Campus
FINAL CENTRAL EXAMINATION TIMETALE
SEMESTER 2 2007

COURSE DATE SESSION VENUE (Building-Room)

• CHEM2041 05/11/07 08:00AM 27A-ExhHall
• CHEM2056 06/11/07 08:00AM UnionComplex-HEATH
• CHEM3009 10/11/07 11:15AM UnionComplex-HOLT
• CHEM3007 15/11/07 05:45PM 27A-ExhHall

shit la.. why so fast going to exam liao.. i'm so scared.. realli scare will flung any of the module lehz.. how ar.. i realli very scare lehz.. scare flung exam but this also means that after examinations, i'm going home soon le.. so happie.. realli looking forward to go home but not looking forward to exam.. haiz.. OMG.. but nvm.. i will try my best de.. cannot 对不起 anyone.. YEN WEI JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU !! u haf urself now onli.. u dun work hard no 1 else can help u le.. JIAYOU ! i noe is tough but juz hang on there n dun give up k.. YENWEI you can do it de.. JIAYOU ! ! 你一定要努力.. 加油 !

i'm LiKe a zOmbiE..

...The 4th day without dear dear by my side...
没有你在身边的第 4 天


i think something is seriously wrong with mi now.. ever since u haf left.. i've been waking up damn early... even though i set my alarm clock at 10am to wake myself up.. but it seems that i will auto wake up at 7+8am.. then try to slp back but i will wake up again at 9+am.. then still try to slp back again.. i will wake up at 10+am.. how?? even though i slept at 2am yesterdae but y will a PIG like mi who love to sleep wake up so damn early n i slpt less than 8 hrs?? n guess wat.. for mi i need a minimum of 10 hrs of slp de lehz.. but now i no matter slp at wat time how late i will alwayz wake up at 7+8am.. i'm not tired when i wake up at all.. but i will start to feel slpy at night.. this isnt wat i wan.. i wanna do work at night but whenever i wanna start to do my work.. my eyes keep closing.. haiz.. i have not been productive for very long le.. i realli need to finish up my work.. i got lots of work to do i noe but y i juz cant bring myself to start.. haiz..

i start to feel the changes in mi le.. my slping time changes.. my clock realli spoilt le.. dunno how to adjust it back.. then nowadays i wake up.. i dun feel hungry at all.. or mayb i should sae... i dun feel the hunger or the need to eat even though i haven't been eating for the whole day..! WHAT WRONG WITH ME ? ? it seems like i trying to slim down but this isn't wat i wan.. wanna "jian fei" must alwayz eat breakfast de.. but y ar.. YENWEI is a person who eat ALOT ALOT.. but now.. this YENWEI CAN DUN EAT ANYTHING AT ALL FOR THE WHOLE DAY BUT DUN FEEL HUNGRY AT ALL ! ! haiz..CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL MI WHAT HAPPEN TO ME ?? WHAT WRONG WITH ME ? ? AM I SICK ? OR WHAT ? ? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TALK TO ME ?? PLEASE GET ME OUT OF THIS..

NO MOTIVATION. NO MOOD. NO JOY. NO LAUGHTER. NO EXPRESSION. i realli hate myself now.. can someone SAVE mi please.. every morning i wake up.. it is juz another day.. another day that i dun haf any feeling at all.. another day that juz pass like this i'm not looking forward to it or wat... i realli feel like a ZOMBIE.. NO FEELING at all.. i'm so DEAD.. haiz.. i realli pass 1 day as 1 day.. what wrong with me..? i feel myself very weird.. my heart feel weird my mind feel weird.. everything just seems WRONG to mi.. total wrong-ness.. i never been like this before.. not at all.. this is the 1st time i experience tis kind of feeling.. i dunno wat to do to get myself back to normal.. STONING + NUAN-ING.. i cant help myself or bring myself out of this.. i realli very pek chek with myself.. i realli noe i need to study.. but... haiz... i so RUAN i so FAN.. 救命啊 !


NO MOTIVATION. NO MOOD. NO FEELING. NO JOY. NO LAUGHTER. NO EXPRESSION.
NOT TIRED. NOT HUNGRY. NOT SMILING. NOT LAUGHING. NOT MOTIVATED.
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME ! ! BUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ? ?

isn't a SIMPLE word

...The 3rd day without dear dear by my side...
没有你在身边的第 3 天


was looking at ur profile in friendster.. realise that i actually write to u quite a number of testimonials but then i realise it seems to be mi 一直在写给你 .. the feeling seems quite weird coz all along it has been be writing to u.. write to u in testi writing to u in blog writing to u in MSN even when u appear offline.. i'm like writing to someone i love out there but i nv receive reply from him at all.. sometime realli looking forward for some msg from u.. a short msg in msn a short testi in friendster or even a short email or SMS i will be happie le.. sometime i realli hope i will be at ur side.. i'm frm a bo chap person change to a ger who love u so deeply n took all the initiative to write u testi write to u in MSN send u SMS.. did i do too much le? or u prefer that kind of girlfriend who will onli SMS u or talk to u when u feel like? i realli very happie that u SMS mi yesterday nite.. dear.. 你知道我很想你吗? 你知道我有多爱你吗? sometime i realli hope i can chat with u online see u in webcam.. but it seems that i miss u more than u miss mi? or i need u more then u need mi? i dunno... i think u already get over the life of not having mi around.. that is a good thing.. last time i will receive msg frm u tell mi u miss mi n stuff.. but now is more of mi missing u? dear.. 有时候我真的感到很空虚.. i finally understand wat u mean that time when u sae u feel very empty.. but our empty feeling is different ba.. ur EMPTY feeling is due to mi bo chap-ing u when we were first together.. but my EMPTY-NESS is due to i miss you.. 相思病.. now i understand how is the feeling of missing some1 so much wanting to get to some1 so much.. sometime i was thinking.. 你没有我你能活下去吗？但是我没有你我想我应该活不下去.. 有时真的很想告诉你我有多想你，但我又怕打扰到你.. 有时好想知道你有多想我，但是这些是要自己说出来，自己从内心里想说的话..

noe u will be very busy for ur this whole semester.. for then next week week u will be chiong-ing ur bball coz IVP competition is coming le i oso wan u to perform very very well.. n hope aft ur match u will call mi n tell mi "dear 我今天打得很好。我进了几分，抢了几粒篮板球之类的话" 我好想分享你的喜悦。但是如果你没有打出你的水准，我也想分享你的悲伤与不悦。我想要做一个会和你同甘共苦的女朋友。我不能在比赛为你打气，加油但我还是会在这里为你加油的。 dear hope u r coping with ur studies.. noe is online 1st week but oso must jiayou k.. everything is from the start de.. if from the start u understand n can cope well with ur lectures n stuff i believe u can do well de.. dun give up k.. guess u going to work this weekend ba.. i noe ur work is very tiring.. so try to plan ur stuff n everything ahead so u will have enought time for ur studies FYP basketball works n sleep.. now u dun haf to spare time for mi so u should haf more time coz u no need to spare time to pei mi or wat.. i realli hope u r doing fine n please please dun over tired urself can.. i realli will 心痛 de.. although i hope we got chance to chat online or on phone but i noe u will be very busy so dun think u will haf time for this.. i'm ok with it la.. i'm trying to get use to it.. whenever i think of u or i realli miss u.. i will write to ur MSN ever though i noe there wun be any reply.. or i will blog n blog.. or mayb i will msg u but i scare i will disturb u frm lessons n stuff.. dear.. i realli realli miss you alot.. 你有想我吗？or mayb u busy until got no time to think of mi ba.. hmm.. nvm.. forgive u.. i noe wat is important to u at this stage of ur life.. i will jiayou de.. dear dear u oso jiayou worz.. take care my dinosaur.. looking forward to the day where we can video call or mayb phone call where i can hear ur voice.. hmm.. how is ur grandfather le.. guess u must be very busy n tired everyday aft sch.. noe u will go n visit him whenever u can.. so u muz jiayou oso k.. keep urself strong n fit n healthy so u can balance ur stuff.. JIAYOU.. MISS you.. LOVE you.. muackx..


Responsibility is not bcoz of something happen then you take it. u take responsibility bcoz you love the person, want to take care & protect the person from any harm. Responsibility isn't a simple word. Responsibility involves lots of commitments and lots of scarification.
Are you ready for Responsibility & willing to take the Responsibility bcoz you love me?

2 wEirD dReaMs

...The 3rd day without dear dear by my side...
没有你在身边的第 3 天


Just wake up.. haf 2 very weird dreams.. is kind of scary to mi.. the dreams keep appearing in my mind..

1st dream: i dreamt that i was late for my examination.. it seems to be some essay exams n i was late.. i couldn't finish writing on my essay n i haf to submit it le.. i tried my best to write as much as i can hoping that i can at least finish up 2 essay n nv did the 3rd one.. but i noe i'm going to fail that module le.. so i keep scolding myself y m i late.. haiz.. i realli scare this will happen to mi when i'm going for examination..

2nd dream: which i feel is realli a weird dream.. i dream of dear n me suppose to meet at a certain place to so called get engage.. but then everything seems so wrong.. i was being lock at some scary place with all the insects creatures.. they keep appearing around mi i wanna get rid of them n i wanna get out of that disgusting place.. i climb over alot of place n i manage to get out of there.. then i realise i look so messy n untidy so i wanted to bath before i meet dear but i'm getting late.. when i'm bathing at some public bathroom i cant find any soaps or shampoo.. but the ppl at the place i all noe.. but it seems like no one wanted to help mi.. i feel so scare.. i dunno how i manage to get myself dress up n smell so nice.. but i was serious late to meet dear le.. but end up wat happen i dunno le.. guess i realli very scared till i was awake...

hope this 2 is juz dreams.. realli very weird n scary dreams.. everything seem to be wrong n dun work out the right way.. even till now the scene is still in my mind.. scary scaryyy..

HELP ! ! ! SIAN TO MAX ! ! !

...The 2nd day without dear dear by my side...
没有你在身边的第 2 天


OMG...!! LIFe is so so so boring.. can someone please tell mi wat to do to brighten up my days or make mi not so life less n feel so bored.. today went to return the rented Toyota Camry at 9+ am.. starting thought everything will be fine coz the person nv realise the slight crack on the front mirror but then end up she stop on the left side of the car so i went over to see.. then realise that there is quite a long scratch on the left front door.. haiz... i oso dunno when happened de but xiaoying sae should be that day bernard make de.. then both of us sian 1/2 coz tot everything will be smooth todae.. stay at the ABEL car rental place for quite long coz we need to pay for it first then they will return us the remaining money.. so both mi n xiaoying pay $800 individually n xiaoying still got $275 to pay which is hold on her card.. is so so sian.. totally no morale at all lorz.. so now must work for the workshop ppl to contact us when the car damage is settle.. haiz.. dunno how much will it cost now.. when to OPTUS after that to call the customer service person to ask abt our phone line n internet coz our internet connection is on n off.. then the phone oso got the buzzing sound.. haiz.. then aft that come home..

OMG... i'm so life less.. my house mates are all so LIFE LESS oso.. keep HAIZ-ing n HAiZ-ing.. realli is so bored n no motivation at all to do anything.. can someone please tell mi how to make mi in good mood n not so life less.. got quite a no. of works to complete to submit next week de but then juz dun haf the mood to start... how... realli sian to MAX liao le lehz.. haiz... please.. someone tell to mi.. someone please brighten up my days... i realli very bored n very no life... very very sian.. sian sian sian.. i'm going crazy le la... be rotting n rotting.. SOME ONE HELP MI PLEASE !

NO LIFE ! ! ! I'M LIFE LESS ! ! !
HELP ! ! !
I'M GOING CRAZY ! ! !

stiLL gOt mOre pHoTos tO cOme..

dEaR & mE aT NoRtH QuAy (Australia-Queensland-Brisbane)
[ i LoVe tHiS pHoTo aLso.. Just fEeL tHat it LoOk sO nIcE & sWeEt ^_^ ]


dEaR & mE wAitiNg fOr CitYCat(ferry)


dEaR dEar - hAnDsOmE aNot? hEez.. bUt eYes LooK sLeEpy.. =x




dEar & mE at eSpLaNade (Love this photo so much although is taken long ago)
[ coz dear seldom smile till like this =) ]

ALONE at HOME.. i'm SO BORED ! ! !

...The 1st day without dear dear by my side...
没有你在身边的第 1 天


i'm so so so so BORED !! i'm alone at home now.. ALONE in AUSTRALIA... ALL my housemate went to DREAMWORLD THEME PARK at GOLD COAST.. haiz.. LIFE is So so bored.. especially without you with mi.. but i noe i need to be independent.. u not going to call mi coz ur phone bill is too expensive le.. actually feel like asking to buy those call card which is used to call overseas but the price is juz like normal call in local but best is used home phone coz if use handphone it will take up ur call time oso.. haiz.. but i think it will be quite MaFan for u.. so juz let it be ba.. u oso got alot of stuff to catch up.. like ur basketball feel so that u can get back to the accuracy that u r before u flied here.. u oso get to finish up ur FYP coz u already missed 1 week le.. then come ur studies oso.. last semester le.. must JIAYOU worz.. i noe as ur girlfriend.. i should give u my fullest support and dun bother u n gif u burden.. dun wry.. i noe wat to do =) i going to study hard and work hard and dun make u wry for mi.. so u wait ba.. wait for 26th November 2007.. i will be back le.. dear.. i will do my part n do the stuff that u wan mi to.. as for u.. dun over tired urself k.. i noe u work is partly bcoz of mi oso.. so i dun wan bcoz of work u overtired urself n u cant perform(basketball & studies) to the standard that u can.. JIAYOU k.. although we sae we can chat online but i noe by the time u reach home everyday.. u will be very tired n ur got to work on ur FYP and ur studies.. u might haf to go play bball to improve ur skills.. so i noe there isn't much chance that we can chat online.. webcam isn't that easy coz ur hse de wireless not stable yet.. phone call is ever harder ba coz of the phone fee.. i got the TALK CARD which is meant to call overseas de.. but i oso dare not call u coz i scared i might disturb u from the stuff that u r doing.. guess now i can do is do my stuff n meanwhile waiting for ur missed call so i can call u back using my Talk Card if not is wait for u to go online n wait for ur wireless to be done.. but i will wait de.. is not that i dun wan take the initiative to call u but i scare if i call u i might disturb u n make u not happy.. i oso noe next week is ur IVP so u must be very busy and tired.. dear.. u JIAYOU k.. i trust u and i believe you and i love you.. please trust mi.. i will not doubt u.. i realli wan us to work out fine.. i realli will change.. i trust u.. i will not doubt u anymore.. let's jiayou together k..

aBoUt mE (reference from Friendster)

About Me:
i'm a pErSoN tHaT u NiD t|mE tO aCcePt.. i'M NoT gOoD aS wAt mY fReNz sAe.. tHe bAd pOiNtS tHeY sAe aRe tRuE..

i'vE bEcOmE mOre FeMiNiNe & nOt tHat bOyiSh.. tHaNks tO my dEar dEar =) i'm vErY sTrAiGhT-fOrWaRd bUt nOw tRyiNg tO cHaNgE sO aS nOt tO hUrt PpL fEeLiNg.. i LiKe tO sMiLe aLoT eSpEcIaLLy wHeN with dEaR.. gUeSs iS LOVE tHAt mAkE mE sO hApPy.. i oSo LiKe tO pLaY sPoRts.. LiKe nEtBaLL bBaLL vBaLL.. hEez.. LovE tO pLay nEtBaLL.. tHiNk cAnNot sUrVivEd wItHoUt nEtBaLL.. =)

i dO gEt mOoD sWiNg eAsiLy bUt aLrEadY tRyiNg tO oVeRcOmE tHiS sO aS nOt tO aFfeCt otHeRs.. i dUn TaLk n bEcOmE vErY qUiEt.. aSk m| wHy k.. i'LL tRy tO teLL u iF i CaN.. cOz aCtiNg sTrOnG eVeRytImE iS rEaLLy vErY x|n Ku.. i dO hAf wEaK pOiNts.. lOoK sTrOnG oUtSiDe bUt wEaK iNs|dE.. i'm tHaT kInD oF pErSoN wHo kEeP eVeRytHiNg tO mySeLf.. iS rEaLLy vErY tOugH bUt tRyiNg tO bE mOrE iNdEpEndEnt..

aLwAyz dO tHiNgs uSiNg mY hEaRt nOt mY bRaiN.. iN otHeR woRds.. i'M tOo eMotiOnaL.. sOmEt|mE cAn gEt vEry sEns|t|vE aNd tHiNk aLot.. sO wHeN fAciNg pRobLeMs.. i'LL tRy to avOid oR eScApE fRm it.. hAf nO cOuRage aNd cOnFideNt iN mYseLf.. eSpeCiaLLy wHeN cOmE tO lovE.. cRy eAsiLy wHeN cOmE tO loVe pRobLeMs.. bUt aFtEr nOe-iNg h|m.. i LeArNt tO fAcE mY pRobLeMs n dUn rUn aWaY fRoM tHeM..

h|m wHo iS my dEaReSt pErSoN.. tHe oNe tHat i LoVe mOst.. hE iS LoW yOnG zheN.. LuV h|m Lotx.. hE iS mY oNe & OnLy LOVE ^-^ tOgEtHeR wiTh hIm i'M aLwAyZ sMiLiNg, LaUgHiNg.. hE rEaLLy cAn bRigHtEn uP mY dAy witH eVeRy LiTtLe tHiNgs hE dOes jUst tO sEe mE sMiLez.. hE aLwAys tHiNk oF mE 1st iNsTeAd of hIm.. hE alwAyz sEt mE aS hIs pRioRity.. i cAn fEeL hIs LOVE fRoM eVery SiNgLe tHiNgs hE dOes fOr mE.. HaViNg uR LovE is tHe mOst fOrtUnAtE tHiNg tHat hApPeN tO mE.. bEiNg uR GirLfRiEnd/dEar iS tHe pRoUdeSt tHiNg iN my LifE.. LoViNg yOu iS tHe hAPpiEst tHiNg eVeR.. bEiNg tOgEtHeR wiTh yOu fOreVer iS whAt i wiSh..

tRust.. i tRusT yOu dEaR.. I LOVE YOU.. Let's wOrK hArd tOgEtHeR fOr oUr fUtUrE =) JIAYOU !

i aPprEciAtE eVeRytHiNg tHat yOu dOnE fOr mE.. [Yong Zhen in Australia(17/09 - 23/09) had left]

times realli fly.. u juz arrived on the 17th sept(mon) but now u are already on ur flight on the way back home.. it realli happened so fast.. i realli cant accept the fact that u haf already spent almost 1 wk with mi.. but why it juz seem so so fast?? haiz.. i realli hope that u can dun go n stay here with mi.. i realli enjoy my time with u.. with u by my side for tis 1 wk.. is realli my HAPPIEST time in Australia.. i nv felt so happy ever since i arrived in australia.. but y it seems that my 2 months alone past so slowly but the 1 week with you juz past like that.. i realli cant accept that u not here with mi le.. dear.. i realli miss u.. u realli brighten up my life.. u r realli my sun... dun haf u.. i realli feel very life-less...

the week we spent together is realli like we 2 travel together overseas.. juz the both of us.. went to Dreamworld, Warner Brother.Movie World, Australia Outback and Surfer Paradise @ GOLD COAST.. 3 days 2 nights of events at gold coast.. noe that the tiring part is travelling on car n waiting for rides at those theme parks.. but i realli enjoy the times with u.. we scream together we have the rides together.. i realli love the time we spent.. but y cant it be longer.. i nv get to pick u up at airport but i drive u to airport today to send u off.. u noe my heart is aching when the thought of u leaving.. i realli feel like crying.. actually yesterday come back from Gold Coast i'm still ok de.. until xiaoying ask mi "wat time is yongzhen flight tml" then i realise.. u leaving le.. u leaving in less than 24 hrs time.. suddenly i feel so lonely again.. life here is realli lonely.. dear.. but i realli thank you for making the effort to travelling down to accompany mi and to come visit mi.. although we haf a few arguement here n there.. but in the end everything still work out fine... i realli realli appreciate that u pay so much n travel all the way down to come see mi.. i NEVER TAKE IT FORGRANTED.. i realli realli deep inside my heart i'm realli realli touch.. not all boyfriend can do wat u do.. i dun care wat other boyfriend did but i juz like the way u are.. u realli dote mi reali care for mi.. u also pamper mi alot.. u also love mi alot.. u make mi feel love and loved.. thank you dear..

i wan to apologise to u for all the DULAN things that i did to make u DULAN.. i noe sorry cant help and u sae SORRY is not like that used de.. but i still have to sae DEAR I'M SORRY 对不起 i realli hope u can forgive mi tis time.. please forgive mi.. i realli nv doubt u.. i realli nv doubt u at all.. not at all.. i realli trust u de.. i'm sorry..

whenever i walk into my room.. the scene of u lying on my bed keep appearing on my mind.. but u are not here anymore.. i haf to start to all over again.. i'm alone again.. alone in this sickening country.. i realli miss u.. i noe i'm NOT ALONE.. coz you are SUPPORTING mi in Singapore.. i noe i'm nv alone.. there is you behind mi.. pei-ing mi.. supporting mi.. pushing mi to overcome this and to complete my degree.. i noe u are alwayz there for mi.. but i still hope u are by my side but i noe this cannot be possible coz both of us are working hard for our future.. dear.. u must JIAYOU for ur IVP k.. i hope u can get back ur "feeling" soon so that u can be very accurate on court and u are the "GOD" u noe.. the 神 that you alwayz sae u are.. juz like u are the 车神... dear.. GOOD LUCK and JIAYOU for ur IVP k.. must keep mi UPDATED k.. u must also study hard worz.. FYP still going on rite.. faster finish it up then focus on ur study to get the GPA that u set for urself.. i believe u can make it de... know u still going to work.. but i realli hope u can cope k.. i realli hope u can get ur studies and bball very good.. dun wan bcoz of u working then everything not balance up or nv achieve to standard that u should be able to reach.. u must jiayou k.. i oso will study hard over here de.. we muz keep each other update often k.. realli hope ur wireless will be ok soon so that i can see u more often.. dear.. i realli miss u.. i see u enter the gate i see the plane take off.. but my heart juz cant let go.. my heart keep aching and aching.. i realli want to hear ur voice soon.. dear.. 我真的真的好想你... i realli still cant accept u had left.. u dun wan mi to cry when i send u off so i kept my tears but i realli realli dun wan to let u go but i noe i haf to.. i wan u to go achieve the stuff that u wanted so much..

but i still cried... i cried over and over again.. in my room.. i realli hope to see u soon.. webcam will do.. i realli hope we can spend more time together... i juz need to endure 2 more months.. can u dun disappear from my world..? i realli realli love you lot n lot.. u r the only one out there to support mi all the way... i noe i'm selfish but i realli dunno wat my life will be if u leave mi... dear... 我真的真的很爱很爱你.. dear.. 对不起.. 因为害怕失去你，而做了很多令你反感的事... 对不起 真的很对不起... 我不会再做那些事了，我知道因为我做的事反而会让我失去你... 我不要也不想失去你.. dear.. 我真的知道错了... dear.. please forgive mi.. i realli wan to tell u i realli appreciate wat u done for mi.. i wun let ur effort of coming here wasted de.. dear.. i realli feel like calling u now to hear ur voice but u still on plane.. i realli wan to call u to tell u i realli miss you.. but i crying now i cant let u heard me crying coz i noe u HATE to hear or see mi CRY.. but i longing for ur call.. hoping that u are safely in Singapore and everything is fine for u..

dear.. 你已经成为我生命的一部分，而且是很大的一部分，是很重要的一部分，是我不能失去和特别和最想要拥有的一切... you are part of my life.. dear.. thanks for the EARRINGS that you BOUGHT for mi (with SINCERE in it) and the CAP that u buy.. thanks for driving mi around and i realli feel very 幸福.. 跟你在一起的时候，我真的感觉到很幸福很甜蜜的感觉.. 你真的让我觉得我是幸福的女人.. 被你疼爱，受你的保护.. 虽然你每次都喜欢欺负我，但是我知道你是爱我的..


10 hours ago you were hugging mi to sleep but 10 hours later you are nowhere seen in Australia.. i missed you.. miss you alot alot.. i miss you dear..

dEaR dEar PASS DRIVING ! ! !

dEar.. you noe when u called mi todae n tell mi u missed ur driving test warm up due to the stupidity of the taxi driver.. i was shocked.. but i realli pray n hope u will pass ur driving todae.. u pass the test for urself not for anyone else.. when u call mi then u tell mi u pass ur driving but u dun sound happie then i tot i heard wrongly.. but i was so so happy that u pass it since frm the start u aren't keen in taking driving coz u dun like ppl to ask u to pick them up n stuff.. but i'm so happy that u pass it..

on wed i worry abt ur semester result coz i realli scared bad things happen but luckily everything went fine.. although u nv reach the target that u set for urself but can tell from ur cumulative GPA that u haf improved.. so next semester work harder toward the target GPA that u set for urself.. then todae i oso scare u fail ur driving.. actually i scare of everything.. scare ur result no good then u nv pass driving then when u come to australia u dun haf any mood at all.. actually i also dunno u got the mood to enjoy in australia anot... but i'm so happie that everything turn out well =) u passed ur exam.. u passed ur driving test and somemore is at 1st ATTEMPT.. omg.. i'm so proud of u... hehe..

looking forward to see u in less than 3 days time.. i'm so excited to see u.. realli dunno when i see u wat will be my expression n wat is my emotions.. i think is a mixture of emotions ba.. ok.. let wait for the day to come..

你还是没有说

你在哪？好想听到你的声音。每当我从睡梦中醒来,张开眼睛时，好希望你就在我的身旁。好想被你紧紧拥抱着，被你呵护着。你让我感受到被保护的感觉，好有安全感。

你还是没有说出口。等待和期待着你会对我说 ..... ......

dEaR dEaR 生日快乐 ! !

dEaR dEar.. 生日快乐 ! ! is ur 20th birthday but sorry that cant celebrate with you but hope u did enjoy ur day =) although cant make it to celebrate ur birthday tis year but hope next year next next year etc i can celebrate with you =p u take care worz.. good luck for ur driving test k.. by the way.. dear.. please take good care of urself k.. dun let ur wounds on ur hand get infected k.. i cant do anything to help u but juz wanna let u noe.. i care for u..


i haf a bad dream yesterday.. actually i stil cant differential whether it reali happen or it is a dream.. haiz.. hope it is juz a dream.. the dream is that u tell mi u r stuck in between basketball n me.. sae when u n mi is in good term ur bball skill like di-proved.. cant perform well on course.. but when u performed on court.. u n mi will be quarrelling n not in good term.. then u say u in dilemma.. wanna choose.. but aft that wat happen i cant remember le.. omg.. realli hope it is jus a dream.. so scary..

我好想你

好想听你对我说 ：我爱你


我很想你 你知道吗？ 我好爱你 你知道吗？

aChiNg dUe tO oVeR-sEnsitiVe??

i dunno y is it like that.. everything that i pay for u u wanna pay mi back but everything that u pay for mi u dun wan mi to pay u back.. watever i pay for u first u oso wanna pay mi back.. why u sae this kind of money 要算好来.. my heart is aching.. i'm feeling so weird.. the feeling that i kept with mi for quite awhile le.. is i thinking too much or is it true.. perhaps u wun read my blog animore ba.. so watever i type here is to express my own feeling onli ba.. so no offence n no "bu shuang" or angry if u read tis k.. i really has that feeling.. i alwayz tell myself is i over-sensitive le.. it isn't mean anything.. but i realli feel it.. i realli feel that there is a 距离 between us.. chatting on fone n stuff isn't like last time.. when u tell mi 这种钱要算好来 my heart sink and it realli aches.. u sae u dun like the feeling of owe-ing ppl money n stuff.. but the problem u didn't owe me but worse of all is i owe u but u still wanna pay mi money.. everything i get for u u oso 算好来 but u nv let mi 算好来 so that i can pay u.. i tot we used to say this kind of money things is 算不完的 is never ending de so dun everything oso be calculative abt it.. so dun everything sae i pay u so u pay mi back.. i dunno y but i feel like u are drawing a wall or distance between us.. i tot everything can dun suan de.. i dun wan u to pay mi the money from the start u nv even owe mi.. but since u insist n if i sae dun wan we might end up quarreling again which i dun wan that to happen so i give in to that.. but i realli hope u can stop paying mi money when u dun haf to.. i oso wanna do my part for our relationship.. but it seems like i wanna do something for that oso cant..

dear i realli hope is i think too much le.. actually i realli dunno how to get everything back to usual back to normal back to previous times.. haiz.. can u let mi do my part.. actually i realise 你好久没有叫我 dear le.. 你已经好久没有对我说你爱我之类的话.. 有时候真的没有那种被肯定的感觉.. ever since we last quarrel or perhaps u ignore mi for a week.. everything change totally.. dun haf the feeling that my dear dear will msg mi to tell mi u miss mi or ask mi to jiayou n stuff de msg.. 我好久好久没有听见你叫我 dear dear le.. 没有 "dear" 没有 "muack" 没有 "i miss you" 没有 "我爱你".. but todae when u sae 谁叫你是我的女朋友.. my hearte melt.. 我的心有很甜很甜的感觉.. u finally sae something that assure mi in ur heart.. actually i oso dunno wat position i m in ur heart le.. i think will nv be in the top few ba.. i used to be the 2nd or 3rd priority but now perhaps haf dropped le ba.. actually 我好想听见你说你多爱我，你有多想我，还有告诉我我在你心中有多重要.. 可是自从那件事之后，我们的恋情改变了.. haiz.. actually u got tell mi before u will reduce ur care n concern for mi le coz u feel that is bcoz u care too much for mi n i take it for granted.. guess that is y i m feeling like this now ba.. but everything feel so weird n different.. i still care for u like last time but u seem to be colder to mi now ba.. cant we get back to the time where we are so lovely.. i realli miss those time.. 其实我有想过你会像以前那样爱我那样想念我吗？ 其实也是我自己造成的不能怨任何人，只能怪我自己.. haiz.. 你对我的爱还像以前那样深吗？ 我对你的爱还是很深很深.. dear.. 我真的真的很爱很爱你..

i cant rmb when is the last time u say "I Love You".. but i dun dare to ask u do u still love mi as much as before.. i scare i will get disappointed with the answer n i scare u sae i onli think for myself or maybe u will sae "有关系吗？" haiz.. i think aft that incident i need a re-assurance from u but i dun dare to ask for that.. i cannot onli think abt myself.. mayb this doesn't realli matters at all but 我的心就是无法平静下来，感觉好不踏实.. haiz.. dun think so much le la.. there is nothing to think abt.. when time is RIGHT everything will be RIGHT then.. let natural take its course.. tis kind of things u will onli sae when it comes out from the bottom of ur heart.. if i ask u for it.. then it doesnt mean much... i will wait de.. wait till 1 day u will call mi n tell mi "dear dear wo hao xiang ni" although i dunno when will the day come but i will wait de.. wait for u de.. =) 我不会轻易放弃的，我会等到那天的到来 ^_^


How DEEP is your LOVE?

emo.....

haf been listening to JIA 88.3 FM recently.. so got chinese songs to pei mi liao.. coz that stupid 93.3 FM cannot listen online de.. keep buffering then cut half that kind.. hmm.. whenever listen to emo songs will get emo lehz.. haha.. then recently heard a new song call "qiang qiang" sing by Ella.. is a very sad song.. i heard the song oso feel very sad.. haiz.. emo emo n emo..

17tH mOntH tHat yOu waLk witH mE tOgEtHeR..

today is our 17th month together.. hmm.. recently alot of things happened n make mi realise how important r u to mi n wat u r feeling abt mi n tis relationship.. i promise u i will change for the better n change for u n for our relationship.. but realise u haven't been tagging my blog.. does it mean that u haben been visiting my blog for long.. i think so ba.. u haf been disappearing from online n u oso nv blogged for long.. hmm.. how u r doing fine for tis few day worz.. IVP is coming le rite.. JIAYOU ! take care..

miss you

i miss you so much...

i'm looking forward to 17th Sept.. =)

i'm so happie that i received ur call yesterdae.. i realli looking forward to see u in 2 weeks time... i think i tok to u yesterday late night.. but i cant rmb wat we talk abt i think is abt the currency stuff but i cant rmb the conversion.. is realli sleep talking i think.. haha..

i wUn giVe uP.. i wiLL wAit...

i'm waiting.. waiting for your forgiveness.. waiting for ur call every night.. hoping that u will call mi one day instead of me keep msg-ing u.. i realli scare u feel i very 'fan' very irritating.. i noe i will continue to wait.. wait for u to call mi when u finally feel that u can told to mi like last time.. wo hui yi zhi deng.. yi zhi deng xia qu... i dunno tis thing will be resolve or how long will it drag but i wun give up de.. i will wait.. wait till u r better.. wait till u feel ok.. not i dun wan to find u.. i realli want to call u every minute every second.. but i noe u dun like n u r busy n stuff... i will continue to wait de... i will change de.. xiang xin wo..

every night seem so long.. i realli hope the night wun come so i wun feel lonely.. but with night n in my room.. i no need to hide any emotions.. but i realli miss you alot.. every night see the neo print we took.. it feel so sweet.. but.. it seems so far away now.. i realli miss the time w spend together.. i miss every moment with u.. but it seems so far away........ far away...... i'm sorry dear... dui bu qi...

thousands & millions of sorry is useless..

a thousand a million sorry oso can replace the mistake that have been done.. i'm realli sorry.. even i sae i will change will it change the facts? even if i wanna change it oso up to u to accept mi again.. no matter how mani sorry i sae oso cant change anything.. but i still wanna sae sorry.. wo zhen de bu shi na ge yi si... dui bu qi.. wo zhen de zhi dao cuo le.. wo bu shi gu yi shang hai ni de.. dang wo zhi dao wo shang hai le ni.. wo de xin ye hen tong.. zhe de hen tong.. dui bu qi..

can someone scold mi or slap mi pls.. please wake mi up.. life here is so terrible... hang on to it is realli very tough.. i made tis decision n onli u support mi but.. i did this to kill myself.. by killing u i'm killing myself.. i killed the heart that u haf for mi.. what the hell m i doing.. wat m i doing.. kill mi pls.. i dun mean to did that to u le.. but i cant change the fact that u starting to .... me le.. sorry dear.. sorry dear... i trying to jiayou for my studies so that i wun dui bu qi ni n wun let u suffer for 1 yr for nth.. but onli 2 months.. i did tis.. will u still willing to suffer together with mi for 1 yr..? sorry dear.. sorry.. zhen de hen dui bu qi..

cAn i aSk fOr uR fOrgiVeNess...

yesterday talk quite long with you.. i noe wat is the problem le.. i realli dun mean it de.. wat i sae isn't suppose to be wat u interpreted.. i noe i'm at wrong.. i noe i'm wrong.. i realli will change de.. can u believe mi.. i will earn back ur trust de.. i realli hope u will give us another chance.. by giving u tis kind of feeling is definite my problem.. i noe u r very tired le... wo zhi dao.. wo zhen de you zai gai.. i realli trying.. i realli willing to change.. i noe the problem is with mi.. but i dunno how u feel abt carrying on.. can u juz give mi another chance.. i realli trying.. i realli trying.. i noe u r tired n very trouble with alot of stuff n i as ur girlfriend did nth good at all n did something that hurt u so much.. i'm sorry.. wo zhen de bu shi gu yi de.. i realli dun mean that de.. that isn't my meaning.. i promise i will think.. i wun get so emotional anymore... i'm realli sorry... as whether u wanna forgive mi anot is not up for mi to decide but wo zhen de zhen de hui gai....i realli will change...

can u give mi another chance... i realli will prove to u i'm not selfish in this relationship and i care abt wat u feel n i dun care abt wat i feel... wo you fu chu... n i realli will fu chu... i'll not onli take but i also will give... i'm will not demand alot from u... i realli hope u will forgive mi n trust mi another time.....

i cried

i cried... cried so badly.. alone in my room..

30 minutes of fiRewOrK @ riVeRfiRe at SoUtH bAnK

went to river festival today.. me xiaoying michelle and bernard went to city first then after that we watch to South Bank to find a place to sit down to watch the program for today river festival.. as today there is firework, the name for today event is call RiverFire.. the firework was so so so nice.. it last for 30 minutes.. is realli very nice.. there is plane flying with fire from the exhaust and stuff.. is realli different from singapore de firework.. somemore the firework happen at the same time at 4 or 5 different location.. but u can see all those firework coz some of the firework are from the top of the building.. is realli so so nice..

when watching the firework i was thinking abt u.. thinking of the time where we watch firework together at esplande there.. thinking of u.. but it dun feel sweet at all.. when thinking of u.. my xin hen tong.. zhen de zhen de hen tong.. wat happen has already happen.. i apologise to u le.. i realli feel very sorry le.. i realli dunno wat else can i do le.. other than sorry and ask u to forgive.. wat else can i do or say.. i noe u r disappointed with mi.. i'm not in the right to ask u to forgive mi since i'm wrong.. i realli dunno how le.. is this how things will end up.. i realli dunno how le.. wat more can i do to let u forgive mi.. wat else can i do.. can someone pls tell mi.. i wanna share my problem with someone but i dunno le.. i waited for ur phone call every night but n nv call.. not a call or msg.. when i call u or msg u.. there is no reply.. todae u finally call aft see-ing my msg but things nv change.. u r so disappointed with mi n got nth to sae to mi.. is there anything i can do to get things back to normal..? can someone teach mi wat to do.. i'm dying soon le.. keeping everything with mi is so xin ku.. i dunno who to tok to le.. i realli feel so hopeless le.. u sound so cold to me.. i realli feel very sad.. i noe u are even more sad than mi.. but.. i realli dunno how le.. i dun wan to go think abt it.. i trying to let work keep mi busy... but u seem like juz disappear.. Just Disappear... when toking to u u seem no interest n seem so cold.. i noe i'm at wrong.. i really n sincerely apologise to u.. i noe there is nothing i can do le.. if there is something i can do for u can u pls tell mi..

wo zhen de bu zhi dao ying gai zhe mo ban le... wo zhen de yao si le.. i dunno how long more i can go thru' this le... i think i going to get to my limit before i realli collapse ba.. let wait till the day come ba.. whenever i think of u i feel so happy but when come to the thought of the situation we are in now.. my heart realli ache.. haiz.. wo de xin zhen de hen tong hen tong.. ni hao xiang bu xiang li wo le.. can someone tell mi wat to do.. whenever i'm alone in my room i will feel like crying.. but i dun wan to let the others wry so i keep trying.. keep trying to smile n laugh.. but xiaoying like realise i'm not ok.. but other than telling her i'm ok.. i guess there is nth i can do ba.. is my own problem.. is my own fault.. stop dragging ppl in..

someone kill mi pls.. u r realli killing mi soon.. i cant take it le.. i realli wanna cry le.. but cry cant solve anything.. other than cry i cant do anything.. i'm so damn bloody useless... USELESS............