is 7am in the morning.
time to sleep =x
haha..
ok..
take a short nap then wake up go city..
is boring..
boring wkend..
when is weekday,
hoping weekend will be here so that no need to go sch..
but when is weekend..
will hope that there is things to do..
haiz..
boring..

Riverfire (firework) -> nv go

is 1.45am now.. and i'm having my dinner =x
yesterdae was a long day..
doing prac till 6+ 7pm..
then at night play mahjong till 2am..
then after that went to shijian's hse to join ziyang they all for chill out session..
then when i reach there at 2+am then noe is to celebrate eric birthday which is on 2nd sept.
as usual.. with daniel ard.. everyone will be drinking, playing drinking games..
they look drunk.. but some look sober..
and some was playing Wii..
it was fun playing Wii =)
heez.. if i can afford.. i will get one for myself in the future..
but that is when i can afford that myself..

then stay till 4am plus plus then went home..
wake up at 10+am.. off alarm clock coz i wanted to go city early de..
but end up i slp back..
wake up at 2 plus..
eat indoo mee then go back slp =x
then slp slp wake up at interval.. but finally wake up at 12 am plus =x
so now then having dinner.. haha..
nv go to RiverFire (firework)..
wanted to go..
but also dun feel like going..
whenever i see firework..
i will feel the ache in my heart..
firework is nice.. but u will hope someone to enjoy tis beautiful moment with u..
and sad to sae..
1 year ago.. during Riverfire..
i was there..
but i wasn't in a good mood..
coz i was in a quarrel with someone..
coz imagine it was already 1 year le..
1 year ago.. all the problems have already appeared..
but i was just naive n i didnt realise that..
haiz.. but..
anyway.. is already over long long time ago..
but it still left that impact in me..
firework..
it will still make mi think of u..
haiz..

now is 8 PM in Brisbane..
i'm currently in school now..
going home soon..
the sky is so dark outside..
coz at 6+ PM
the sky will turn dark..
so the night here is super long..

reach school at ard 10 plus in the morning..
drag myself out of the bed which i actually suppose to be up at 8 plus 9..
but i just cant get myself out of the bed =x
didnt do much in the morning
just busy checking out my student email
then just got the notice that there is another seminar today at 1 pm..
so..
i onli start doing my lab work at 2 plus..
ate my super late lunch at 4.30 pm coz i got late breakfast at 10 plus..
and partially i was busy preparing my solution..
till 4.30 then can relax abit to go eat..
stay back aft that to continue to make 3 more solutions..
then stay back to write up my logbook (practical book)..
i still got my seminar notes to write..
coz we need to keep a seminar notebook for checking..
is part of the course component..
sian...

get Research Proposal seminar to give on the 11th September..
haiz.. that means i got to do presentation slides..
that means i got to speak my CMI (cannot make it) english for presentation..
OMG..!!!
Honours Honours Honours..
why cant it just be research n research..
dun need all the talking and the writing..
haiz..
got to go think of what to present for my seminar le..
sian 1/2..
i need some morale booster..
i need some happiness booster..
boost juice..!!
i love boost juice..
there is 1 at vivo city..
that time during the opening ceremony,
me, meijie, diana and chunpei were "working"
is fun.. haha..
i love "all berry bang"
coz got the strawberry de "seed" to bite..
haha..
i know i'm weird..
but i just like that..
haha..

ok.. got to go..

didn't go sch today..
cant get myself out of the bed..
got 2 reasons..
one is i cant drag myself out of the bed
coz i'm too tired..
the other reason is i still can feel bit n bit of pain on my ankle..
is just a weird feeling..
the pain goes on n off..
sometime it seems to be fine..
no pain, feel alright..
but aft sometime..
can feel the pain..
not realli that pain but is still pain..
haha..
talking rubbish rite..

bcoz of the pain i decide not to go to sch today..
if not i got to wear covered shoes then think will be painful..
going to be lab work n more lab work..
haiz..
is so boring..
haiz..
whenever i feel low..
this thought always come to my mind..
why do i make myself suffer..
1 year here should be enough..
why go for another year of honours..
although i know honours is good for my resume (CV)..
hmm... dunno la..
still thinking of staying here longer..
to apply for PR..
dunno is that thought right or wrong..
haiyo..
is boring..
but i dunno will that be a correct decision..
hmm..

haiz..
watever..
just see how things go..
hmm..
please get something to brighten up my life..
please make my life more lively..

ankle swallon..

my ankle is sickening painful now..
arghh..
getting swallon...

why am i that weak..?
haiyo..
why am i that sick..?
that make mi miss the step..
haiz..

..... ......

sprained ankle =(

ok.. let talk about todae..
coz something stupid happened to me =x

today morning went for medical check up at city..
so took citycat (ferry) to Riverside then walk to the building..
everything is fine..
although i'm just very sick..
used alot of tissue today thanks to my flu..

so medical checkup went fine..
everything is good..
so after check up need to go back sch to do my lab work le..
so walk from check up place to citycat stop..
just when i reaching..
i fell =(
i sprained my ankle..
it was so damn painful coz it was long since i last experience tis kind of pain.
i dunno is it coz twisted my ankle or sprained ankle..
is was so painful but i manage to walk to take citycat..

when seated down on citycat..
still feel the pain.. on and off..
then when i got off at sch..
it was fine.. not that painful..
walk walk.. the pain gone..
so i thought it will be alright..

so started my lab by chaning to covered shoes that i left in sch locker..
so walk still okok..
then aft awhile..
here come the stupid pain..
haiz..
after lab change back to my open toes shoes..
then pain is even more..
is on n off..
but it realli can be that painful at time n no pain at times too..
sickening rite...

thinking of why i fell..
haiz..
maybe i was realli too tired le..
realli too sick le..
is so obvious i got stupid cold since everyone ask mi..
and with my stupid red nose =(
and watery eyes..

can feel the swell in my ankle although isnt obvious
but
when touch it lightly also can feel..
haiz..
how..?
no sin seh here..
wanna wrap my ankle also cannot..
sian ar..
i think i will just leave it like tis.
wait for it to recovery itself..

sick..!!

just feeling that sick..
flu.. cold..
OMG..!!
the feeling is just terrible..

going to sleep le..
need to rest..
tml going for medical check up for my student visa.
yes.. i need to extend my student visa for 1 year..
guess how much it caused?

$370 - OSHC (overseas student health cover) for 12 months
$450 - student visa application
$234 - x-ray & medical check up

haiz.. add up already $1000+++
is realli sucking money lorz..
haiz...
ok.. i'm sick.. but going to start my lab tml le..
got to start working for my honours..
jiayou jiayou..

complicated...

this world is just too complicated...
all the relationship..
is just too complicated...

everything..
just don't seem to be simple.
is more complicated than thought.

why are humans just so complicated?
why are relationship just so complicated?
why can't just let them is simple..?

just that simple..
but things will never be that simple..

finally got my research project proposal submitted.. felt so relief =)
yesterdae was the submission.. aft submitting that.. went back to sleep.
coz i need plenty plenty of sleep coz i didnt sleep well or get enough sleep for the past 1 week..
was feeling sick.. feel that sore throat pain..
felt the headache.. feel heaty..
slept for the whole day..
didnt went to sch today..
wasnt sleeping well..
realli felt very sick and kind of tired..
realli got the sick feeling le..

要记得往前走

went to EKKA yesterdae with darryl, yongsheng, ziyang, ailing and keith.. EKKA is a fun fair like thingy that is held in Brisbane yearly.. there are games, food to eat, shows to see and stuff.. is fun.. but you can end up spending quite a sum of momey there.. have fun yesterday although i wasnt feeling very well yesterday coz of the headache and the neck pain.. think didnt slp well the night before.. then went to sit a 5G thrill ride.. then make my the other side of the neck pain =( but it was fun.. i just love sitting all tis ride.. haha.. mi, ziyang, ai ling and darryl took the Mega Drop ride too.. haha.. the guys took alot of courage to take that.. haha.. dunno why they all so scare.. yongsheng n keith dun wanna take =x haha.. when taking the ride.. i was thinking abt Dreamworld at Gold Coast.. i remembered that was the first few rides we took.. it take 9-12 sec to go up and take onli like 5-6 sec to get down.. haha.. u didnt like tis kind of stuff.. but bcoz i like it so u just pei mi.. haha.. now i understand le.. guys are more afraid of tis.. just like wat darryl sae.. balls will shrink =x haha..

watch show at the night.. got some Yamaha Freestyle team.. it was nice.. got bike doing stuns also.. is so so nice.. then got fireworks.. haha.. ziyang was saying if can bring the person u like to watch it with it.. how nice will that be.. i was thinking of you at that point of time.. forget when did we last watch firework.. but i did mention to you last year during august.. i watch a RiveFire festival firework.. it was very nice.. but you was not here with mi.. is ok.. i believe your life will be much better without mi.. and i believe my life will be fine without you too =)

人总是思念，
去想念。
但不要因为这样，
而在原地徘徊，
要记得往前走……


my neck is so painful..
i need massage !!
ok.. got to do proposal le.
due tml !!
jiayou jiayou jiayou..!!

Birthday presents =)

here are my 21st birthday presents =)
1. Fossil watch --> from chem engineering ppl plus junyi, peifei, darryl and edwin etc.
2. Ralph Lauren Green Polo Tee --> from Bellevue people (the colour that i wanted. thanks)
3. Mug + Darrell Lea chocolate --> from mekko (chuting) & her bpyfriend (alvin)
4. Guess wallet & netball birthday card --> from raven CC cum Mitre club
5. Lindt Petits Desserts + a balloon with lots of "21" --> from Adeline and Qing Qing
6. Anna Sui Secret Wish perfume --> from wan ling, hui xin and derrick
7. A green long worm with A-Z and a winnie party hat --> James Brown laopa
8. A birthday card + $$ + beer + alcohol --> from depper people
9. A bracelet + brooch --> from sisters (received that on july)
10. A bouquet of flower --> Ziyang & Yongsheng
11. SMS & wishes in Facebook, Friendster and MSN =)
12. Wound & Blue-black on my left knee --> from alcohol =x

Is a great 21st birthday =) thanks everyone !!!
i realli do enjoy myself although i know i did stuns when i was drunk..
nvm.. is once in a lifetime i'm 21..
so just do stupid stuff and stuns =) heez..

oh ya.. i wear the red dress that the netball gers got for me =)
but i look fat in it now coz i'm getting fatter and fatter each day.. haha..

21st Birthday =)

is my 21st birthday todae.
celebrated it yesterday coz today is public holiday can play till late.
have party at home.. for photos please go to Facebook..

it was a nice one..
but i got drunk =x
haha..
but i realli got a good times..
hope those who came enjoy urself too.

thanks for coming..
thanks for the present..
thanks for the joy, laughter and fun..

i love the presents.. every single one of it..
very nice.. thanks for the wishes..
thanks for the sms that ppl send to mi..
thanks for the message on friendster on facebook..
thanks for wishing mi on msn..
thank you everyone..

i'm 21 le.. is an adult le.. haha..
realli thanks for everyone's help..

oh.. did i mention.. i fall when i was drunk..
leg got wound got blue black =(
haiyo.. but it was fun having friends here too..
thanks everyone..
thanks for housemate(darryl angus) for his help in everything..
thanks the one who take care of mi when i was drunk.
thanks keith, barry, shijian, daniel for helping mi to collect n get stuff..
thanks everyone for every single things..
ur presence make my 21st party a success =)
thanks..

i cant feel it.
not the try.
coz nobody and even mi saw or feel that try.
i'm just a normal person.
i never can get you out just bcoz of mi.

did you ever initiate to go out?
did you ever initiate to accompany?
is always i ask
i required.
but everytime it failed.
you never once agree to come out just bcoz of mi.

maybe i just not of that much "strength"
i dun feel the coming forward even i took steps and steps forward.
but now.. i taking all the steps backward.
you didnt pull mi
coz from the start,
we all know
it was a mistake.
and i'm not that much important.

it takes two to clap.
one going forward but the other standing still.
there isn't any step forward so that wun be a try.
maybe is that i'm just not important.

if one didnt wanna choose to have possess of 2 things,
then is very obvious that,
the thing that one let go of is not that important after all.
dun tell me.
coz i cant feel that.

is her birthday,
you thought and make preparation and think of gift.
i ever help in that coz i didnt wanna step into a triangle.
and i want you to be happie too.

but is my birthday,
i guess you didnt think much, no surprise,
no special thoughts ba.
maybe i'm not that important after all.

is i think too highly of myself.
maybe i should have step in at all.
i should have stand outside just looking.
but is it luckily or it is bad news.
you affect mi but he affect mi more.
luckily i didnt step in too much.
is time to turn back.
and not to step into any of that anymore.

isolation.
emotion.
circumstances make mi the way i'm.
i'm a female.
there is a limit to my strength.
but never i'm strong in relationship.
so tis time,
i choose to end it the way it should have started at all.
or maybe should sae,
it didnt start at all.

but it ends all.
i believe tis wun affect you much,
or maybe there isnt any impact.
ur life will be still good n well.
it isn't important to you now.
so i guess i'm not important to you.

emo emo emo...

is my 21st birthday in 2 days.. tml will be the celebration at my hse.. but i dun feel the joy the happiness.. i'm feeling lost.. just that weird feeling.. the aching feeling..

i'm a ger afterall.. how strong can i be?
always wanting to be independent.
wanting to do things with my own strength.
but sometime when i realli hope that there is someone for mi to lie on
i dunno where shall i go.
i cant find you anywhere.
i trying to stay strong.
to be strong.
but i need a mountain that pillar to lean on when i need a rest.
but i cant find that on someone else..


haiz.. dunno why.. emo again.. emo emo emo.. stop emo-ing le ahwei..
got to chiong proposal le.. if not honours will be gone..

許茹芸 & 阿穆隆 - 男人女人

nice song nice song.. going to put this into my blog song too...

許茹芸 & 阿穆隆 - 男人女人




多么希望你是对的人 ........

ok.. 2 more days to my birthday celebration and 3 more days is my actual 21st birthday.. feeling nth.. coz i dun celebrate my birthday de.. but friends tell mi to celebrate it coz is 21st and is once in a lifetime.. just hope it will be a nice one.. nothing cock up can le.. then get nice nice presents =x heez.. then go nice nice friends ard.. although i still wish others that are in singapore will be here too =( but then.. nvm.. i dunno why but keep thinking.. thinking will you get anything for mi.. or will u get any special for mi.. but then i noe la.. it wun happen.. haha.. but then nvm la.. what to do.. what can i ask from you.. yup.. hmm..

got to start my research proposal de.. tml got to give the 1st draft but i haben started =x haiz.. been busy all tis while.. ya.. birthday preparation.. sometime how good will that be if there will be someone who help mi plan everything.. make sure everything is nicely done.. make sure all my friends family love ones will appear.. what i onli need to do is just appear in the party.. looking nice.. not tired. not moody.. with the smile on my face.. but i cant find back that smile which i once have with u ard.. i still finding that.. hope i can get it back or i can find that back on someone.. but i know i shouldnt bcoz of someone then smile.. but that smile n laughter is just that different.. i missed that.. but i will still smile.. =) smile everyday.. smile on my birthday.. smile when i see you n her.. smile when something happy happen.. smile to someone to brighten up their day.. ya.. smile the way whenever i saw u from far..

i missed ya again..
when there is special occasion..
i will miss you alot alot..
i guess is coz i wanna share my joy with you.
will you call?
or maybe i expected too much.
hope you are doing fine.
staying happie, healthy and lively.

Logitech Z-10 Interactive Speaker System ! ! !

yeah.. my first ever speaker is here.. like it alot =) see the specification n stuff ya.. just love it =)

here is the photo
http://www.logitech.com/index.cfm/speakers_audio/home_pc_speakers/devices/202&cl=au,en

nice nice rite.. i bid at ebay.. haha.. not realli that cheap.. but not that expensive as the retail price of AU$299.95.. got it at AU$93 with postage everything.. bid it at $72.. but pay using my singapore credit card = using my own money... cost mi S$123.. but is nice ba.. is loud n cool.. hehez..

give so comments ya.. hehez.. dun tell mi is too expensive.. i noe it.. but i just like it.. hehez... treat it as my 21st birthday present that i get for myself then =) heez..

finally finish watching "Absolute Boyfriend" le.. is sad ending.. haiz.. if Night never die.. everything will be just fine.. but in life.. things wun happen the way u wan it to be.. when u r happy.. the things/person will be taken away.. u will feel lost n sad.. but aft that.. u got to stand up again..

that's life...

viewing facebook..
sometime it just make mi envy and jealous.

the 21st birthday party that i attended and seen.
my friends they always have their boyfriend/girlfriend with them
to share their joy, create happiness.

but for me..
my initial plan for 21st birthday have changed and changed.
initially, i onli decide to study degree here.
which mean now i'm suppose to be back in Singapore.
i decided to hold my birthday celebrate at aloho loyang side by side with wee kiang
coz our birthday is just a day differences.
his on the 12th, mine on the 13th.
we celebrate near each other so that our friends dun need to rush to 2 different places.
but i spoilt the plan.
i'm currently in australia.
i also planned my birthday with you by my side.
shaaring my joy, my happiness and my special moments.
but the plan changed again.
i spoilt the plan too.

i planned to have my birthday with my dearest netballers
but now i'm all alone in brisbane.
lonely..
i do miss them.. everyone of them..
i do miss you.. not every moment that i used to be.
but looking at those celebrations that others have.
i missed you again..
but what to do..
who ask mi to be a spoiler

but i know ur birthday will be a good one..
a nicely done one..
coz i believe you and her will arrange a nice one..
or she will arrange a very nice one for u =)

i feel happie for you coz i know you found the right one.
it does hurt me sometime when come to think of it that i wasn't the one.
but what to do.
i'm just not your cup of tea.
or maybe should say..
so far..
i wasn't anyone right cup of tea =(
sad rite..
but no choice..
who ask mi not to be a nice ger.
not a gentle or caring one.
not an understanding one.
opps =x
or maybe should say..
who ask me to have such a bad temper..

ohhh yess..
did i mention..
my bad temper is back again =x
due to some issues and stuff..
the good temper that i have after that time is gone =(
i know i should find it back..
train it back..
but dunno why..
i just lost my temper easily nowadays..
i do miss the good temper i have on you during that last period
and after break up..
and i was surprised with that too..
so now what..?
should get back the good temper ya..
haha..
i'm talking rubbish again..


lonely 21st..
without that special person.
without that special one.
without you.

a need or a want?

just now slpt at ard 4.. slpt all the way till 9pm.. dunno y.. i'm just so tired.. suppose to go for a seminar at 12pm todae.. but i was 10 min late.. so end up i didn't went.. so i just go home =x which mean i didnt appear in the office n lab todae.. heez.. nvm la.. just got to faster think of idea for my honours de research proposal can le.. due on 18th.. OMG..!!!! got to get started.. discipline discipline..



sometime i'm just get confused..
wat do i want ?
what do i need ?
do i need you/you or do i want you/you..?
do i realli need
really want
or is just replacement?
i dunno..

you can MIA(missing in action) for quite long.
but you can just brighten up my days when i feel moody
simply by just having you appeared on my tagboard.
that will be good enough to make mi happie and not moody anymore.

you know what you want.
you know what you need.
you know what suit you.
but it is just not me.
from conversation,
we knew we pursuit different kind love.
what you can give & what you want
isn't what i have & what i want.

maybe that you suit me more.
maybe this you isn't really what i need.
maybe that you i really love.
maybe this you is just like.

are you a need or are you a want?
i know you are both a need and a want to me.
are you a need or are you a want?
i don't know.
coz i feel so uncertain.
for what you feel for me
and the view you have for love
am i a need or a want to you/you?
or maybe i'm neither a need nor a want.

for this time,
i knew you and me won't work out.
you and me won't work out.

or maybe this you that really need me and really want me
as much as i really need you and really want you
has not appear.
or did i miss that you?
as you have already pass-by my life.
or maybe in my life,
there isn't suppose to have you in it.


你的爱情观是什么？
1. 理性的： 当你的头脑和你的心有不同的看法，你会跟随你的头脑
2. 不理性的： 当你的头脑和你的心又不同的看法，你会跟随你的心
3. 要衡量的： 有了他/她，有什么好和不好，需要或不需要
4. 选择性的： 可以选择去爱谁，也可以选择不去爱谁
5. 爱就是爱： 不需要想太多，爱就是爱

BURBERRY wallet ! ! !

i wanna get a BURBERRY wallet..
those kind of long wallet for lady..
i want it..
i want it..
can it drop from the sky..?


http://www.burberryusaonline.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=2068773&cp=2119969&view=all

what nice..?
give some advices and suggestion..

who will be going to Hong Kong, Shanghai..? can help mi get..
or is anyone going to UK or Europe...? i wana get wallet..
Japan also can.. is Blue Label..
anyone anyone..?
UK is also better coz is the origin country of Burberry =)

rEbOnded my hAir =) fiNaLLy

ok.. i finally go n get my hair rebonded coz i realli cannot stand it anymore.. is so messy.. so wavey.. i just like my hair to be long n straight.. or at least not bloated that kind can le.. although is not very worth it to rebond my hair now coz is kind of short.. but i still like the result coz is neater.. n is straight.. =) cant wait for my hair to grow long long..

tis is an impromptu action but is a decision that i did think of but nv wanted to do it.. haha..
anyway.. i'm just happie with it now =)

i got myself a bean bag =) yeah... so happie.. i got my 1st ever pink bed side table. my first ever pink rubbish bin.. my first ever bean bag.. is a Love shape =) heez.. then i got myself a lamp too.. so so nice.. heez.. now my room is so packed.. =x heez.. but i just love it.. haha...

it hurts.
feel the pain.
is just can't go away.

it hurts.
hurts alot.
should never go thru' this again.

this is what i tell her.
wake up.
if you are not what he wants.
then leave him.

if he can't treasure you.
then go away.
if he doesn't want to have you.
then walk away.

it hurts.
i know.
i understand.
don't ever let yourself go into this anymore.

is not our fate to accept this.
wake up my friend.
from now on,
keep a distant from him.
even though you want him that much.
but he doesn't want you as much.
walk out.
walk away.

is painful.
the pain come again & again.
i understand.
but you just have to get out of it.

dun be a silly anymore.
you are not that important.
where do you stand?
you should know..
no where.
is not in that special place in his heart.

you are not what he want.
the like is not that much.
if is alot.
he wouldn't have said that.
if is that much,
he wouldn't ask you
not to pin any hopes on him.
coz he knows it.
you are not what he wants.
so....
you should know it too..
you want him
but
he doesn't want you.

... ...
stay strong..
without him.
life still goes on.
although you will feel the pain.
you will cry to sleep.
you will feel the heart aching whenever you think of him.
i know the pain.
but
he wouldn't be there for you
even when you cry.
who will know you cry?
will he know?

i can't say much
coz
i'm a failure in relationship
nothing works out.
cry when you need to.
coz you need to.
if not,
you will never smile again.

..... ......
..... ......
..... ......

some of the trip photos are in shu ting's blog..
bcoz i take very very long to upload photo to my blog..
take a look at them at her blog here.
here's the link.
http://www.babygarfield.blogspot.com/

if not just click her link in my blog.
if wan more photo..
go to Facebook.com.
see photo of mi.
see the albums in Darryl's, ZiYang's & Shuting's facebook account.
will havve mi inside =)

wait till i'm free then upload up.
honours..
is boring..
is tiring..
journals. journals & more journals...
sleepy. sleepy & more sleepy.

Multilayer Porphyrins/Polyelectrolytes Complex Films.
that is my honours topic and project..
haiz..

Honours Research Proposal due on 18 Aug 08.
I haben start.
dunno how to start.
die le la.

having my 21st Birthday celebation on 12th Aug 08 instead on the actual day on 13th Aug
coz 13th Aug is EKKA day (Public Holiday)
so decided to celebrate the day before then can play till late then dun need scare cant wake up for school the next day.

now my birthday wishes..
to get the Prada wallet.
to get myself a car here. 2nd-hand will do.
to get First Class for my Honours.
to hope that everything will turn out well.


i miss you.
at least i know you appreciate me.
at least i know you can give me hopes.
at least i know you realli did love me before.
at least you wanted me that much before.
at least i'm in your top few priority.
at least i know where i stand.
at least you wouldn't hurt me that much now.
at least i know you treasure me.



he actually doesn't like her that much.
maybe is just a little.
just that little.
is just a little of "like" which is not that much to be "love"